Hello NatureLove and

I am so glad you found us! Please, do not feel hopeless. I know that things can seem overwhelming but there is HOPE! Diagnosis can be confusing and it is my understanding that psychiatrists often hesitate to diagnose BPD. What is important is that you are recognizing BPD traits in your daughter. And you are correct, there are many success stories with DBT.
There are so many positive things you can do to improve your relationship with your daughter. There are many members here that are dealing with the same thing. They will be able to help you learn the tools you need to take care of yourself and to make things better.
A great place to start is with this set of resources:
What can a parent do? I also encourage you to read and post on the
Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board.
How about you? Do you have a good support system?
You sound like a wonderful, supportive Mom! Please keep reading and posting here, I can tell you from experience, it really does help!
Bananas