broke NC no regrets.

[RecycledNoMore]

I explained about girl & Loki in the " animal cruelty, treats anyone thread", I saw girl today, in the local paper, the spca found her wandering the streets, her burns were infected, she was receiving treatment.

I Was shocked, disgusted and very, very angry.I unblocked one of the uBPDxs fake fb profile and let him have it, used Every expletive under the sun,told him he was a syco, that he never loved anybody but himself, and that he deserved any crappy thing he gets in life.

Im not sorry, I feel guilty for not standing up to him enough when we were together, but ill handle that in time, I dont know if I got a response, and quite frankly I dont care, im happy though because girl got adopted into a new family, with people who will show her the love and kindness she deserved from the start, not the abuse and cruelty she got from the uBPDx or the useless tears hugs and apologies from me.

I feel sick, and mad and sad and stupid, I will NEVER let anything like this happen to me EVER again, I am going to get better, stand up for myself and become strong, I WILL NOT TOLERATE this behavior, in myself or anyone else.

[bpdspell]

This may not be a popular opinion on here but I think there is something redemptive about letting them have it and getting it out of your system especially if they have been utterly abusive, manipulating, controlling, bossy, and outright disrespectful. We're human too and sometimes we need to let our ex's know what jerks they've been to us and I see no harm in that. Some of our BPD ex's have truly earn the tongue lashings that they receive from people they hurt. My ex physically assaulted me and spread a vicious smear campaign about me that left me reeling in a lot of pain and shame. There were many times I prayed for an opportune moment to read him the riot act.

But it's important to remember that they are mentally and emotionally sick so in the long run punishing them or playing a tit for tat game with them eventually backfires on us. We cannot beat our ex's at their own game so stooping down to their level will only fuel their disordered minds with negative attention. They have lived disordered their entire lives. They know that they aren't likable and they certainly hate themselves so in my mind; that's punishment enough. The only way we win is when we take ourselves out of the BPD rat maze for good and leave them to the vice of their own disordered minds. Let them hit their own personal rock bottom.

Eventually my strength grew in No Contact and I grew in the confidence of not giving my ex the satisfaction of engagement cause he doesn't deserve it. No yelling, no screaming, no arguing, no texting terrorism; just silence.

At the height of my anger I never got the chance to give my ex a piece of my mind but removing myself from his life was my ultimately gift to myself.

Spell

[fromheeltoheal]

And remembering that a borderline fears abandonment the most, so disappearing withou a trace wounds them to their core, is the ultimate revenge, and allows us to detach and heal.  Win-win.  WooHoo!

[RecycledNoMore]

I needed to say something, for myself, for girl so many times in the past, he talked his way out of situations, lied, turned things around to make them seem as if his actions were my fault, I seriously began to think that way, maybe xyz, was my fault, maybe I didnt see what I saw,maybe Im just being paranoid... .hed always fkn " win" in the end.Im out of the FOG now, and im doing ok, but seeing evidence of his heartlessness, and my own weakness, right there in the paper, it just brought so much back,he did respond, just rubbish really, nothing about girl( prick), he babbled on about how I was like some chick he was watching on Jeremy fking Kyle, what the heck? But I fully expected that just deleted it and didnt respond, this just makes me even more determined to look after me, NC is no problem, I just want to get on with my life.