Hi, Mish66 &
I am really sorry that you are having so many problems with your daughter; it's miserable when our child has BPD and behaviors that we can see are so destructive, and we don't know what to do about them!
When a child suffers from BPD (even our adult child), not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources:
What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the
Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better.
I do know what you are going through; I am here because of my own adult son (36) who was just diagnosed with BPD in March/April 2013. Since then, however, I have learned the communication tools and techniques in the links above which has made our relationship so much better--in fact, better as soon as I started using them! And, not only is our relationship better, but once all his anger and defiance dissipated, he's been willing to have treatment for his disorder (and his other diagnoses) and he is in the recovery process and doing very well.
My son's story is not totally unique, and when you go over and check out the Parenting
Board (linked to above), you will find many other parents who are finding their way through the minefields of their children's BPD symptoms and behaviors. When you check out that Board, be sure to click on the links to the right-hand margin of that page; the information you will find there is invaluable! Please keep posting your story, and asking your question, and read all you can... .It really can help, Mish66
