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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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My part of the NC is going well
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Topic: My part of the NC is going well (Read 425 times)
frag1911
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 80
My part of the NC is going well
«
on:
November 15, 2013, 11:43:34 AM »
Hi, folks. Again, I want to say how much I appreciate you folks and the information I've gotten from this site. You and it have been a big help!
My side of the NC has been pretty successful. I've only messaged my uBPDex-g/f on FB asking if she has paid for her phone that’s still on my account. Just one neutral question and asked only twice. I "unfriended" her when she began ranting in "public" that she doesn't have a disorder and I'm a liar and cheater, etc., so my friends don’t have to see all that crap.
She continually messages me on FB with wonderful, loving electronic cards, and writes that her "heart is heavy", "I miss you terribly", we were meant to be together and "why can't I stop thinking about you?" She has also done the ecard thing by texting. All of them about "missing you" and "you'll never know how much I"... .love you, trusted you, miss you, think of you everyday.
Yep, all the textbook examples. This morning I looked, and I thought maybe it was over. No new messages at all, and it was after 9am. I talked to one of my abuse group friends and she suggested that the ex may have decided to stop all this in an attempt to make me suffer losing her attentions and to teach me a lesson. Uh, okay, I guess I got an F on this lesson.
Well, that ended at 10am. She sent another one.
The big deal happened two days ago. I have been parking my truck far away from my apartment (that she left). I was hoping that she would see that it wasn’t parked where we have always parked, then assume I wasn’t home and not come to the door. I was leaving for class the other day and walked through the complex to my truck. I got in and started it and looked to the right, and low and behold, she was driving up to me. She stopped behind my truck, blocking my leaving, and got out.
Well, what’s a guy to do? Hmmm. Back up to her car (without hitting it), do a 3-point turn in the parking space, then jump the curb and drive away. You would think that was a blunt enough message. Later she messaged how she won’t come around anymore and how immature I am, then 20 minutes later posts another ecard that says “she” gets jealous, mad, worried, etc, because “I love you so much I don’t want to lose you”. There have been three more ecards since then.
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heartandwhole
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3592
Re: My part of the NC is going well
«
Reply #1 on:
November 16, 2013, 01:06:11 PM »
frag1911,
You sound strong and are doing a great job dealing with your ex's attempts to contact you. It makes me sad to read the desperation in those messages. It goes to show how difficult this disorder is.
Have you asked her to stop contacting you?
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When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul.
frag1911
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 80
Re: My part of the NC is going well
«
Reply #2 on:
November 16, 2013, 09:37:28 PM »
Heart & Whole,
I have not asked her to stop contacting me yet. There are some issues that I'm trying to get taken care of like the phone. No, I don't respond beyond asking about the phone and such, no conversation invitation at all.
And by happenstance, while she is messaging me directly with these quotes and ecards, on the private portion of her FB account she is liking scores (that's 20's) of quotes about cheaters and liars and such, like "You cheated on your wife with me, so OF COURSE I trust you completely" or "You're not sorry for hurting me, you're sorry you got caught".
So there's the whole two-faced thing going on; on one hand she's missing me and on the other hand she's "liking" all these bashing quotes about men cheating and lying and such. I can just imagine what she's messaging her friends and family if she's doing this.
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