Is being emotionally attached to a non-living object wrong?

[HarmKrakow]

Like serious, is being attached to a song, a travel, a bus, a car, a cooky, whatever, is that wrong?

That when you hear it, see it, or that it breaks, you can be broken to for quite a few days? I remember having discussions with this with my ex concluding that she found being attached to these things was just stupid and strange. It were just 'things', they were nice at the moment, but that moment has passed and all that matters is future...

No matter how good a ancient memory is ... into the toilet with those memories ...

It was one of the most difficult things for me personally to get over it ...

[fromheeltoheal]

There is no wrong.  Objects or memories mean something to us because we assign meaning to them.  If we didn't, everything would be meaningless, literally. 

There is a past, present and a future, timeframes all important in their own way, and one way to get stuck is to get stuck in a timeframe, by disregarding the other two.  One way to get stuck in our detachment is to get stuck in the past once the relationship is over, and for me it was important to create a future without her, first as a vision to move towards, and then as a project to create.

[HarmKrakow]

There is no wrong.  Objects or memories mean something to us because we assign meaning to them.  If we didn't, everything would be meaningless, literally. 

There is a past, present and a future, timeframes all important in their own way, and one way to get stuck is to get stuck in a timeframe, by disregarding the other two.  One way to get stuck in our detachment is to get stuck in the past once the relationship is over, and for me it was important to create a future without her, first as a vision to move towards, and then as a project to create.

What I meant is that my ex also has the tendency to have no attachment to anything, and therefore, is always capable, at any point, dropping everything in her life, move to another country and start over. Because per definition not allowing emotions or feelings at one certain thing, it makes it 'relatively' esasy to go through life although I think at points like that you see or perceive life as quite grey

Can't you just also continue with life, a new future, while still from time to time remember the past with a few tears and so on? And that you have nights that it does hit you over but you remain on path for the future? Or does those 2 not cohere at all?

[fromheeltoheal]

What I meant is that my ex also has the tendency to have no attachment to anything, and therefore, is always capable, at any point, dropping everything in her life, move to another country and start over. Because per definition not allowing emotions or feelings at one certain thing, it makes it 'relatively' esasy to go through life although I think at points like that you see or perceive life as quite grey

Can't you just also continue with life, a new future, while still from time to time remember the past with a few tears and so on? And that you have nights that it does  you over but you remain on path for the future? Or does those 2 not cohere at all?

Remember a borderline, lacking the ability to self soothe, or in English they feel all emotions very strongly when they get triggered and have no control over them, their emotions control them, meaning it takes all they have to just ride out the chaos.  Once triggered a borderline can only focus on what's in front of them, and will even distort reality based on how they feel.  We've all been there at one time or another BTW, felt emotions so strong that they were overwhelming; a borderline lives there full time when they're triggered.

So when a borderline experiences emotions that are too strong and bails, giving the impression they have forgotten and moved on, what they've actually done is repressed them to cope, not forgotten them, and they bubble up later as rage, impulsive behavior, all the thrills, which are reactions to shame.

Remember we're talking serious mental illness, mine did that, and of course the healthy way would be to get the fck off it and communicate openly about what's going on, but that would require an autonomous self and an ability to keep the emotions in check, neither of which a borderline has.  Sucks I know.  Take care of you.