To those of you completely destroyed by someone with BPD.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Someday's I feel like I don't have a right to anything of my own. Like my needs don't matter, like my feelings don't matter. And I just get this ball of stress in my stomach. And get frustrated and confused. My mind just thinks about how to get approval of others or give others what they need, especially with my ex-girlfriend. This is emotional slavery, I already was co-dependent, but since her I've had a complete loss of identity, zero since of self worth. God this is going to be a long road. I guess I need to be easier on myself. I can't believe I let someone do this to me!

[BuildingFromScratch]

Someday's I feel like I don't have a right to anything of my own. Like my needs don't matter, like my feelings don't matter. And I just get this ball of stress in my stomach. And get frustrated and confused. My mind just thinks about how to get approval of others or give others what they need, especially with my ex-girlfriend. This is emotional slavery, I already was co-dependent, but since her I've had a complete loss of identity, zero since of self worth. God this is going to be a long road. I guess I need to be easier on myself. I can't believe I let someone do this to me!

[heartandwhole]

SuperiorOutlook,

I'm so sorry that you are feeling stressed and confused, breaking up is so painful. I used to get that ball of stress in my stomach, too. 

It's a long road, sometimes, but very worth it, Superior.  I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I can tell you from experience that things do get better, they really do.

Be gentle with yourself, you did the best you could.  Now it's time for you to heal. 

How are you coping with these feelings?  What helps?

We're here for you. 

[BuildingFromScratch]

Thanks. Meditation, and self love help. If I can reach myself. I've really been like this for like 7 years. This is like a chronic condition from the trauma of the relationship. I'm just now able to sometimes exist at all again.

[oblivian2013]

Definitely counseling has helped me. Your body is going through natural phases of grief and needs time to process what in the world happened. Focus on yourself now, not them.

[ShadowDancer]

Definitely counseling has helped me. Your body is going through natural phases of grief and needs time to process what in the world happened. Focus on yourself now, not them.

[maxen]

i'm sorry to read you're in such pain, Outlook. as heartandwhole said, we're here for you, and we're all here for each other. i also want to thank you for such a raw and honest post. i've posted on other threads about how thoroughgoing the sense of degradation is; as you said, loss of identity, zero sense of self-worth. i'm there too.

[BuildingFromScratch]

I'm sorry you feel similar. No one should feel this way. It's so sad that we live in a world where the people with partial, needy, broken souls search for each other only to drain and destroy each other.