Will it really take me at least a year to recover?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

75 days out and counting. Just a few texts exchanged, without even a hint of reengagement from both sides, and even that was over a month ago.

The relationship was 2,5 years, many small breakups, 4 major recycles, each ending really ugly, but this last one she truly gave her best to inflict maximum emotional damage. To the effect that I am astonished anyone can inflict so much pain and still be allowed to walk this earth, without being smiten by God's ligtning or just a simple electric chair.

I am taking this really hard. Other things in life went south as well. My arthritis is currently flaring. And I got definitive answer that, no, I will not get another chance at my nice director's chair. Thinking back, I really did not contribute to positive outcomes of both. Too much booze and turning into proverbial Grumpy sealed the deal on things that could make me feel better.

So rebuilding will take a much more serious and lenghty effort. Guess I really had to hit the low point. In a way, our lives got "exchanged" during relationship. Now she is recognized, respected, with great job, new styling, new appartment, bright future... .I am... .well, take a look into closest mirror to see me.

I am noting posts from people who are out a lot longer that I am, and still not fully healed.

Am I really looking forward to at least a year of just getting things back the way they were?

[Numbers]

75 days out and counting. Just a few texts exchanged, without even a hint of reengagement from both sides, and even that was over a month ago.

The relationship was 2,5 years, many small breakups, 4 major recycles, each ending really ugly, but this last one she truly gave her best to inflict maximum emotional damage. To the effect that I am astonished anyone can inflict so much pain and still be allowed to walk this earth, without being smiten by God's ligtning or just a simple electric chair.

I am taking this really hard. Other things in life went south as well. My arthritis is currently flaring. And I got definitive answer that, no, I will not get another chance at my nice director's chair. Thinking back, I really did not contribute to positive outcomes of both. Too much booze and turning into proverbial Grumpy sealed the deal on things that could make me feel better.

So rebuilding will take a much more serious and lenghty effort. Guess I really had to hit the low point. In a way, our lives got "exchanged" during relationship. Now she is recognized, respected, with great job, new styling, new appartment, bright future... .I am... .well, take a look into closest mirror to see me.

I am noting posts from people who are out a lot longer that I am, and still not fully healed.

Am I really looking forward to at least a year of just getting things back the way they were?

[Ironmanrises]

Everyone' s healing is different. Some take longer then others. There is no set time table for how long it will take you to heal. There is no "rule". If your healing process is slower, as long as your healing, that is what is important. I am 4+ months at NC after round 2. I am slowly healing. Key word, slowly. Take your time 4815162342. The end goal is for you, and all of us, including me, to heal. Hang in there.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey 4815, The fallout from a BPD r/s can be extensive, so you are not alone, believe me.  My career, my finances, my physical health -- all suffered tremendously in the aftermath of the BPD tidal wave.  Healing, as Ironman says, is different for everyone and there is no magic formula.  Go slowly and listen to your gut feelings.  Soon, you'll be back on your path again.  Lucky Jim