He says he wants to come to my wedding

[cartwheel]

I posted earlier about my xfiance getting jealous over my college boyfriend from 30yrs ago.  I mentioned that we were still friends and by that I mean I haven't talked to him in probably 25yrs but if I saw him, we would be cordial.

My xfiance then accused me of sleeping with him this past weekend, when we were broken up.  I was home sick last weekend!  Since this accusation this morning he has since searched my college boyfriend out on the internet and FB - found a picture of him, his kids names, marital status, job, where he lives, everything!  He called me, throwing all this stuff in my face, all over a man who I am not the least bit interested in and haven't seen or heard from in about 25yrs!  He started to grill me on our relationship, which I really don't recall all that much!

Then at the end of the conversation he said he was just worried about me, he didn't want me to jump into another relationship. He said he wants to make sure I find a good man and he would love to come to my wedding some day!  It would make him happy to know that I am with a good man.

He called me back again later, to remind me we were over and that he is going to block my emails and text, but will leave his phone on for me and for me to call anytime if I need him!

Is this all about control, he wants to control me whether I am with him or not.  I have vowed to myself to never call him, but worry he will call me eventually.  He always seems to catch me off guard.

Help!

[Surnia]

Hi cartwheel

Sound more like he wants to come to your wedding as your husband! 

Normally I am not advising others here about NC - in your case I would think about it. Blocking his phone numbers, reading no emails and so on. You vowed never call him, perhaps you have to wove also not answering his phones.

[cartwheel]

Surnia

Thanks... .your point is well taken.   I certainly will never call him but I also need to be prepared for when he calls again and I'm sure he will.  Thanks

[Pretty Woman]

What the? Um he blocks emails and texts from you but will leave his phone on if you need anything?

Just re read what you wrote. Does that make any sense?

My ex told me last week she never wanted to speak to me again. She blocked my number (didn't change hers... .I know through friends), blocked me on FB (we have a ton of mutual contacts) but when I broke contact (my bad) she emailed me how much she hated me. We went back and forth for five hours before she ended it with, I hope this gives you closure, I am blocking my email tomorrow.

If someone wanted 0 contact with you they wouldn't respond to anything, an email or text. This is where these individuals are not rational humans.

You deserve better. WE deserve better.

(and smarter)!

[seeking balance]

Well, he certainly sounds like he was dysregulated when you were home sick.

So, I noticed this board is the undecided - what, exactly are you undecided about regarding this relationship with your xfiance?