Facing the music

[smartwoman220]

Soo... .

Things are  coming full circle.

My ex ( who I recently posted about) is on his way back  to Georgia.  Not because  he wanted to, but because he has unresolved legal issues here and is being  extradited  to resolve them.

He had two failure to appear warrants. One for the DUI and the other for our assault charge.

His mother  and brother  called  me to let  me know that  he  had  been arrested. He  had  told them how I  supported him through his friend's sickness, and they  were hoping i could help them  find  a lawyer and see if i could speak to the judge, or the bondsman to see if they would allow him to make other arrangements to travel.

I told his  brother that he  need not  contact me about him... .that  he  need  to contact current girlfriend.  He brother simply stated that  he wanted me to know what  is going on, because he knows I  love his brother  and his brother loves me.   

My closest friends are talking about  forming a justice league of sorts, ... .too keep me from trying to  help or  be be involved.   They are  frightened that  once  all his  issues are resolved here, he will be  looking to  try something with me.

Luckily  for them,  I'm done.   

I did not  want to see him in pain or in  jail.  I did contact some  friends of mine that  might be able to  help  once he  gets back in  GA.  I put them in  direct contact with his mom, so he  never  has to know I sent him  some help.

I just  want him to  better... .I want him to be happy. Eventually


All my contact numbers will be changed and  my email too. Ii  just  got a new job, so, I will be  making all new contacts. That gives me an escape... .

I do think about him a lot. I know that  I still love him... .and I know that I have go to keep very  busy  so that I'm no tempted to get an update from his mother.

Send your positive energy my way... .

[ShadowDancer]

Mine called me four months after the fact. Wanted me to throw her bail on a DUI. I said "I would not *** on you if you were on fire". Harsh, ugly, yes. Affirming, enforcing, clear boundaries, yes. ALL CONTACT info IMMEDIATELY was changed. POOF! The Shadow is gone baby gone!

How is my life today. GREAT! New employment. New car. New home. New relationship. All good and getting better.

It's a brand new day!

Sending you vibes... .

[Surnia]

Wow, quite a ride!

Sending you a lot of strong energy - for yourself   that you can maintain good boundaries and follow your goals with your new job.

[bpdspell]

Smartwoman,

Not your job.

Let his family figure out how to help your ex out on their own. Subtly dragging you into the muck…not cool. If you ask me…they're kinda overstepping their boundaries in a manipulative kind of way. You aren't his wife and he has a new girlfriend. Done and done.

You can love him but love yourself more. That is my wish for you.

As for him. Pray for him and wish him the best. We can love people without coming to their rescue and quite honestly our ex's need to gulp the soup of their own personal failures. Perhaps it will drive them to get the help they so desperately need.

Spell

[GreenMango]

As painful as it is to watch someone we care about face the music its probably the best thing for him.

He might actually get an opportunity to get some sercives he needs in prison. 

[smartwoman220]

Hey guys!  Thanks for the well wishes.  I  realized the  moment  this all came up that  it  wasn't my fault. His mom  kind of tried to pull me  in saying " this pertains to you"

Well... .no it doesn't. He skipped bail because he didn't want to  get in trouble, He thought  he could run  far away  and  hide from all the  wrong he's done, and never have to pay  for  it.  While he was running, having a great time and  living  it up and  building a new "family",   I was here in Georgia with egg on my  face. I had to start completely  over, from scratch... .Alone  with  my  son.  I spent almost an entire year alone, sorting through the junk that used to be  my  thoughts,  lonely, sad and almost damn near  miserable... .Wondering why it was ok  for  me to  suffer alone.

But it is ok... .like I said, I don't want to see him hurt, but I am just a teensy bit glad that Karma showed her face. 

The dichotomy... .

As far as the help he needs... .I've arranged for a counselor who  works with  vets to meet with him  once  he gets to the local  jail.  The group that  he works with a great amount of pull with the court system. Depending on his evaluation ( and of course his willingness to cooperate) they  may  be able to negotiate for him  to spend  time in a rehabilitation center fro his alcoholism instead of doing 120 days or more in jail.

I do  have a ( big mushy) heart. I know  that as much as he pretends to  be this tough guy, he really  isn't bout that life, and  he  wouldn't fare well locked away.  He would  be worse.

So, at this  point, its up to  him.