In my relationship with my uBPDw, we currently live 150 miles apart and plan on living together when/if things get better. During the weekends, we are together and are emotionally close. When I go home on Monday, the communication between us is ok, but from Tuesday on, it is very limited. She will send a text now and then, but I always have to initiate the nightly phone call. When we do talk on the phone, she is not loving/affectionate.
Is this some form of object consistency? It's hard for me to process this.
I tried this with my wife. Brief separation of 3 weeks. I used them to work on myself. To get centered in my mind and heart. I constantly had to remind her as to why we were separated. Not that your wife is doing this but mine used it to start another relationship. It was opposite to you. On the weekends, I would get a few texts and mostly I had to initiate the communication. Then during the week, she would call me and we would go out to dinner, etc. It was just like old times. Then, on the weekend I would see her spending activity in the checking account. Basically going on dates, going to movies, restaurants even going to the grocery store spending 80+ dollars so she could feed the temporary guy's family.
I guess this is a suggestion to clearly define why you are separated and what it means when you say 'things get better'. Make sure she isn't taking this separation as a hall pass.
