Its Thanksgiving here in the States. And I have so much to be grateful for. My Life looks nothing like it did a year ago. I am out of the DV program and into my own townhouse. New furniture, brand new job, and the ability to look at myself in a whole new light... I am smart, I am funny, I love me ( that's what really matters) and my son... . he is everything
It was funny, last night I curled up on my couch and watched my favorite show. I was alone, which I had been avoiding since the last incident (I've been keeping company with a guy I 'm not really into, which I know needs to stop, but that a whole nother story) because I been sinking into my feelings.
*** This is also the first holiday I have been alone in 8 years. I'm single, and my son is with his dad for Thanksgiving.***
And those memories, did creep up. I thought about how much fun we had cooking last year, and how him and my son fell asleep in my bed watching Mary Poppins, and how good it felt to be up under him, and so in love.
And I was thankful for those memories. They are a part of my life that I would not change, because those feelings were real. I was happy... .
And I'm happy now
The memory came and went, and I was peaceful, not sad or angry. And it past like the other thoughts I've had. And it was on to the next.
I am posting that because, I actually had to pause to take a check of myself afterward. I was so proud of myself because there were no tears. No awful nagging feeling on the pit of my stomach and no awful longing for him. I know now that I can be free. I'll have more memories added to my memory bank,, and time spent with others who will be able to love me.
Just wanted to share how I feel, cause I'm floating right now. Happy Holidays... .I'm off to house hop
