mammy8918,
I have a 29 y.o. daughter, and a 6 y.o. grandson. I can understand you fears and concerns.
I have several books on BPD. My latest one that I am currently reading is the one that jellibeans has suggested. Another good book that I would like to recommend is:
I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better - Gary Lundberg and Joy Lundberg
This book has helped me with validation skills and setting boundaries.
In addition to therapy for myself, this board and all of the tools have helped tremendously. And, the key thing is as jellibeans and rainbow have told you about taking care of yourself. I can not change my daughter, She is not seeking help, and I can not change or control her behaviors. It is pretty much the acceptance prayer.
Hang in there.
peaceplease