That was hard

[ts919]

It's been a while... .but my uBPDw and I had our first court date today... .that may have been one of the most awkward things I've ever sat through.  She brought her mother with her and we never said a word to each other (we still currently live together, so tonight should be a blast!); it was so surreal.  So many emotions... .this is going to be way harder than I thought.  I know I need to get her out of my life, but it's so hard to do it.  She's a "stay for spite" type so it's not going to be a walk in the park for sure. 

Ugh... .I just feel kind of numb at the moment and I'm really dreading picking up my son and going home tonight.

Just have to push through right? 

[Lucky Jim]

Hey ts919, It is hard, no doubt about it.  I have been in your shoes, my friend.  What is harder, though, is continuing in a marriage to a pwBPD.  In my case, I almost destroyed myself in the process.  So in my view, you are doing the courageous thing that will lead to greater happiness in the long run.  In the short run, I agree, it's brutal.  Hang in there, Lucky Jim

[Pearl55]

Be strong, mine was hell and took more than 3 years.

[ts919]

Thanks guys

Last night happened as I suspected (i've learned to expect the exact opposite of what a normal reaction would be) - she was at home, dinner on the table (that never happens) and a christmas movie on.  Most people (myself included) would've probably decided to stay somewhere else for a few days... .but in my house, everything was "normal".  As normal as that can be I suppose... .


At least there wasn't any drama for my kid to witness - need to be thankful! 

[Pearl55]

She is a real ACTRESS so don't fall for these. I had similar situations and was in the same house with my husband in our divorce procedure. He nearly killed himself to suck me back but I couldn't let lie to myself anymore. They are pathalogical liars and don't mean it when they say nice things to you. Don't try to be too generous because she will view you as an idiot man! They don't understand generousity or whatever nice things you do for them, they see it as a weakness.

[Pearl55]

Family, dinner, Christmas time so YOU DON'T LEAVE ME. My husband never cooked before but so many times he cooked me especial meal, buy flowers, gifts, came to my room and offered sex ( he used to withholding it all the time), treating me like a princesses infront of his other Dr colleouges,... .

Yeah he is a real actor. What happened 10 days ago, when I signed the documents to give up on our marital home, he didn't let me to stay one night more in his house and you could imagine how hard is finding a place in this time and I stayed in a hotel for couple of nights!

[heartandwhole]

Thanks guys

Last night happened as I suspected (i've learned to expect the exact opposite of what a normal reaction would be) - she was at home, dinner on the table (that never happens) and a christmas movie on.  Most people (myself included) would've probably decided to stay somewhere else for a few days... .but in my house, everything was "normal".  As normal as that can be I suppose... .


At least there wasn't any drama for my kid to witness - need to be thankful! 

Wow, didn't see that one coming, either.    A nice respite from the stress.  Doesn't change the underlying dynamics at all, as you know, but it's definitely an evening to be grateful for.

How are things today?

[ts919]

Last night and this morning were more of the same - lots of "normalcy"; or what she perceives as normal.  She pretty much ignores me (which is fine by me) but is being super nice to my S6 (she is his step-mom).  I'll give her credit - at least she's not making everyone's lives a living hell for the first time in 2.5yrs.  Maybe it's finally sinking in that it's over?  (I'm just kidding... .I know this is just the calm before a major storm - I wasn't born yesterday )