Violence/Abuse and the BPD

[Century2012]

After several months of no contact, my ex contacted me for a phone number he had misplaced. When he called the  person (his ex before me), she told him off. And blocked his phone number. Which led him to contact me and take it out on me.

The point is that in the course of his contact with me, he played true confessions and admitted to physically beating his ex. Which got me researching "abuse."

He beat me up just the same way he beat her. Not with his fists. (He never laid on hand on me ... .in fact was always gentle and kind.) But when I left, he literally laughed in my face as he found a "new one" the same day.

That is abuse. That is why we need to post and read.

We were beaten up in the worst way. They kicked us when we were down. Bruises on my body would have healed faster than the ones on my heart.

Bottom line is ... .run ... .if we learn that they hurt someone in the past, or lay blame on another for a infraction that was clearly their fault ... .we MUST see it as a red flag and try our darndest to see through the fairie dust.

[zkirtz]

If the circumstances are grave and there is no solution, there is only one way: away.

I understood later my exBPD was violent to others as well. He hit one of them and explained this away, saying that she was a junkie, that she was very vulnerable, unlike me. So he punched her in the back and he thereby broke a rib.  No light bulb at the time. As if it is normal to beat up your ex.

[bpdspell]

Yes emotional abuse IS abuse and if your ex can admit to physically abusing an ex of his then you certainly dodged a bullet.

My ex was both physically and emotionally abusive towards me and this is why I responded to your post. Usually these types of borderline males are cormorbid with narcissism and their actions can certainly be intentfully cruel.

I have a restraining order against my ex as he was very aggressive,controlling, jealous and possessive. These kind of men are very, very, very sick and should not be handled with kid gloves. Many feel entitled to hurt and bully women due to their need for control.

Spell

[LivingLearning]

Yes!

I have found emotional abuse to be so difficult because it's hard to show, prove, name.

It's written in many books that emotional abuse can be harder than physical abuse, though I figure they're one an the same.

Thanks for your post.

Reminds me to acknowledge the pain... .