Do I confront him?

[belladella]

Hi everyone, I have a question regarding my SO - I am planning on leaving him soon. I am working on an exit strategy, (unbeknownst to him) I am cleaning out papers, removing my valuables, getting a job, vehicle, place of my own (all the wonderful things I had before I met him), however I have come across some documents that prove he has been meeting up with random women in motels (paid professionals?) while he was suppose to be working during the day... .do I call him out on it? 

[Lady31]

If it were me I would have confronted my exh in that situation.  However, if I was in the place you are when I found it I would consider whether to do it right then or wait until I had most of my plan in place.

Mainly because once he knows you know that - he may start watching for signs of you potentially wanting to leave the relationship because of his despicable behavior.  If it could harm you and your plan in any way, I would wait until I had most the plan in place.

How long is your estimation to leave?  If it is later rather than sooner, it the other side of the coin is that it may be hard to "sit" on this knowledge without confrontation also allowing the possibility that it will continue on.  (Of course, even if you were to confront him it could still continue on.)

[belladella]

Very true Lady31 - I think if I confronted him it might jeopardize my plan and his "meetings" would still continue. So I guess the end result would be the same, I am still leaving and he will continue with bad behavior. It makes me angry beyond belief, and once again I feel like an ass for giving up all the wonderful things in my life for this ___.

My exit plan was going to be for Feb 1st, but I don't know if I can hang on that long, I just want out... .

Thank you for your insightfulness Lady31!

[seeking balance]

Hi everyone, I have a question regarding my SO - I am planning on leaving him soon. I am working on an exit strategy, (unbeknownst to him) I am cleaning out papers, removing my valuables, getting a job, vehicle, place of my own (all the wonderful things I had before I met him), however I have come across some documents that prove he has been meeting up with random women in motels (paid professionals?) while he was suppose to be working during the day... .do I call him out on it? 

What purpose would calling him out serve - honestly?

[belladella]

Seeking balance, I don't think it would serve any purpose within this relationship. It's just more of the same crap from this man and I refuse to be a victim any longer. And here I go off to the doctors for testing... .

[seeking balance]

Seeking balance, I don't think it would serve any purpose within this relationship. It's just more of the same crap from this man and I refuse to be a victim any longer. And here I go off to the doctors for testing... .

You are wise, make your plan and leave.  Any additional conflict only makes the entire thing worse.

Not one time did my confronting the lies make me feel any better or the pain go away, in some ways it only gave ammunition for ex to use against me.

Take care of you!

SB