Need opinions (crazy DUI BPD story)

[santa]

I just came across some interesting information about my BPD ex tonight that I need feedback about.

In July, my BPD ex was arrested for suspicion of DUI. The charges were later dropped. The whole thing went away.

What's interesting is the position of the car at the time of the arrest. A few weeks before this incident, I got a new car. I really like it. It's a great car. No big deal. Anyway, my ex, for whatever reason, felt threatened by it, jealous of it, didn't want me to have it, etc.

Well, she had to go to another state to do some business, so I let her drive it on her trip. She was picked up for DUI in sort of a small town in the middle of nowhere.

When the police arrived, she was out of the car. She had it parked sideways across both lines in the middle of a curve.

My only conclusion is that she placed the car there and was standing there waiting for someone to come through and crash into it. She was going to stand there and watch the whole thing play out.

Furthermore, her excuse for being out of the car is that she was 1) she was lost (even though it was barely off the interstate and she knew exactly where she was going and how to get there)... .and 2) she was smoking a cigarette. Now, before she left, I asked her not to smoke in the car. So, I think she was going to use that as her reason and try to make me feel guilty about it that she had to get out of the car to smoke and this terrible accident occurred as a result.

The whole thing really creeps me out. I realized she's a psycho a long time ago, but not to this extent. When you look at the evidence, this is really the only way it could have transpired. There's no other reason for the car to be parked across both lanes of traffic in the middle of a curve like that, right?

What do you guys think? That has to be what happened, right?

[fromheeltoheal]

Don't know, sounds suspicious, but under the influence of booze and BPD chaos who knows.  I had a long distance relationship with my ex, and rented cars when I went to be with her.  She got in the habit of having something to do that required lots of driving right about when I was leaving, because I got in the habit of leaving the rental car with her to use, since her car was an unreliable junker.  Similar thoughts went through my head each time: if we'd had a disagreement, common, or she was off in some mood she wouldn't talk about, I always half expected to get a call that the car had been totaled and now I had a big bill.  Never happened, and of course no thanks for leaving her the cars, but I can relate to your train of thought.

[santa]

Don't know, sounds suspicious, but under the influence of booze and BPD chaos who knows.  I had a long distance relationship with my ex, and rented cars when I went to be with her.  She got in the habit of having something to do that required lots of driving right about when I was leaving, because I got in the habit of leaving the rental car with her to use, since her car was an unreliable junker.  Similar thoughts went through my head each time: if we'd had a disagreement, common, or she was off in some mood she wouldn't talk about, I always half expected to get a call that the car had been totaled and now I had a big bill.  Never happened, and of course no thanks for leaving her the cars, but I can relate to your train of thought.

I've seen my ex's personality get pretty scary when she's drunk. I wasn't with her when this happened, but I know she hated me having the car. The possibility that someone could have been seriously injured crashing into the trap she'd set with the car there is kind of disturbing me right now. I can't think of any other reason for it to be there though. The way it was parked, it looks pretty fishy. Women that are lost at night in desolate areas don't stand outside of the car like that with it parked across both lanes of traffic. A curve in the road would be the perfect spot to do that too because the oncoming cars wouldn't see it.

I just can't think of any alternatives though.

I know she'd already smoked in the car because when I picked it up from the impound, there was evidence that it had been smoked in. I never would have known that if the car had been badly damaged in an accident though.

I think she was setting this whole scenario up. What kind of a lunatic would do that though?

[fromheeltoheal]

I've seen my ex's personality get pretty scary when she's drunk. I wasn't with her when this happened, but I know she hated me having the car. The possibility that someone could have been seriously injured crashing into the trap she'd set with the car there is kind of disturbing me right now. I can't think of any other reason for it to be there though. The way it was parked, it looks pretty fishy. Women that are lost at night in desolate areas don't stand outside of the car like that with it parked across both lanes of traffic. A curve in the road would be the perfect spot to do that too because the oncoming cars wouldn't see it.

I just can't think of any alternatives though.

I know she'd already smoked in the car because when I picked it up from the impound, there was evidence that it had been smoked in. I never would have known that if the car had been badly damaged in an accident though.

I think she was setting this whole scenario up. What kind of a lunatic would do that though?

I've done pretty stupid sht when drunk, like parked in the middle of the road because I had to pee, should have gone to jail, fortunately no one got hurt and no metal got dented.

The bigger issue though is why does it matter?  We know borderlines are capable of actions that seem extremely devious and mean, in fact anybody can do that given motivation, but as we know we'll never get the real reason, delivered with openness, honesty and vulnerability, from a borderline, so why does it matter?  I realize things that happened keep coming up as we process the relationship and it's end, and if there's a lesson there then keep digging, but it could be unnecessarily crazymaking if you second guess motives without a chance of the truth.  Take care of you!

[santa]

I've seen my ex's personality get pretty scary when she's drunk. I wasn't with her when this happened, but I know she hated me having the car. The possibility that someone could have been seriously injured crashing into the trap she'd set with the car there is kind of disturbing me right now. I can't think of any other reason for it to be there though. The way it was parked, it looks pretty fishy. Women that are lost at night in desolate areas don't stand outside of the car like that with it parked across both lanes of traffic. A curve in the road would be the perfect spot to do that too because the oncoming cars wouldn't see it.

I just can't think of any alternatives though.

I know she'd already smoked in the car because when I picked it up from the impound, there was evidence that it had been smoked in. I never would have known that if the car had been badly damaged in an accident though.

I think she was setting this whole scenario up. What kind of a lunatic would do that though?

I've done pretty stupid sht when drunk, like parked in the middle of the road because I had to pee, should have gone to jail, fortunately no one got hurt and no metal got dented.

The bigger issue though is why does it matter?  We know borderlines are capable of actions that seem extremely devious and mean, in fact anybody can do that given motivation, but as we know we'll never get the real reason, delivered with openness, honesty and vulnerability, from a borderline, so why does it matter?  I realize things that happened keep coming up as we process the relationship and it's end, and if there's a lesson there then keep digging, but it could be unnecessarily crazymaking if you second guess motives without a chance of the truth.  Take care of you!

You're right. I wasn't digging for this info. It just came up in conversation and I realized what happened for the first time.

This is creating kind of a paradigm shift for me though. I shouldn't be surprised by this at all, but I am. It's just an entirely different level of psycho than I previously thought.

I feel a lot better about her being an ex than I did earlier today.

[fromheeltoheal]

You're right. I wasn't digging for this info. It just came up in conversation and I realized what happened for the first time.

This is creating kind of a paradigm shift for me though. I shouldn't be surprised by this at all, but I am. It's just an entirely different level of psycho than I previously thought.

I feel a lot better about her being an ex than I did earlier today.

Good for you!  Paradigm shifts are good.  I too saw things drastically differently once I got out and the strong emotions waned; I got lost in the relationship, and once I found myself a little I'd remember things that went down and What the heck?  My opinions changed.  And then, once I'd learned about BPD, her recycle attempts with their manipulation were obvious and transparent, and made me feel sorry for her, and like you, very glad I left.  Keep thinking and feeling!

[Changingman]

Yes, keep thinking and feeling.

The epithanys are amazing.

Odd moments making so kind of twisted sense.

Careful to think about yourself, but this horror/thriller/love story/ is compelling.

Keys left in front door, door left open. Being treated like a controlling father... .being forced into playing a role that isn't you. Begging you to love them, face full of hatred looking at you, chaos, just simply chaos.

I used to say before I learned of BPD, before the real hate started

It's like living in the middle of a storm

Exciting.

But when it becomes normal becomes repetative and boring.

No moving forward, same old c*** year after year.