Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
March 19, 2025, 01:05:20 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs (Read 504 times)
happylogist
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 163
Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
«
on:
December 16, 2013, 08:07:16 AM »
Was just wondering,
are there many who've dated mutual friends after breaking up with someone?
From my experience and seeing here and there, I have an impression that it is relatively common to have a uBPDex moving on with a mutual acquaintance or friend.
On the hand, I guess when you are down friends are more likely to show compassion and offer some solace, also one becomes available and maybe dating mutual friends is something yet a bit untold but is still very common.
The last one is I think would be my ex's argument.
Just wondering...
Logged
Pretty Woman
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1683
The Greatest Love is the Love You Give Yourself
Re: Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
«
Reply #1 on:
December 16, 2013, 08:53:17 AM »
About two months prior to our break my ex started hanging out more with this mutual friend. I was busy, partially because I was growing sick of being treated like crap. So after a weekend where I wasn't feeling happy and I assume my ex felt like I was rejecting her, she dumped me and said we should see other people.
I knew immediately who this person was. She had been dropping hints that if we were not together she believed this person was interested... .and yes, this person is very needy and I could see she admired my ex.
She has no idea what she is in for.
BPD's tend to pick a weaker target the next time around someone who is more co-dependent and of course, another caregiver type.
My BPD was a loner and had 1 friend in our state, a red flag I should have heeded. I was not surprised when she hooked up with this girl. She is currently isolating her (we have mutual friends) and I am sure happy as a clam (idealization phase). I have been painted blacker than black (blocked me on email, FB and phone) so I am actually comforted knowing this other person has to deal with this. Enjoying a lovely holiday only to see in a few months this chick has severe issues.
Logged
Littleopener
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 73
Re: Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
«
Reply #2 on:
December 16, 2013, 01:36:10 PM »
Yes, he moved on to a mutual friend. She however didn't know about me and him because he didn't tell anyone about us, like he was ashamed of me.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...