Anyone else ex didn't rage much?

[eclectic]

My ex girl, was more passive aggressive, she wasn't the type to yell, but would still do things to hurt you.  When she ended the relationship out of the blue, she said you didn't do anything, I just been thinking, then she said I'm not seeing anybody else, I just want to be single.  She is saying this to me, without me asking which makes me think it was someone else, but she will swear up and down it was not. I'm pretty positive it was guy she worked with, she told me he tried to kiss her, and I said he tried to kiss you, or did you guys kiss, and then she admitted yes they had kiss, but she doesn't like him.  We were in a LDR, so I'm pretty sure it was something going on, I was not the prying type, but I remember this guy she claimed she disliked so much, sent her a text while I was with her, I believe he sent several, because she would be texting someone, once she told me he just text me, but I think that was to throw me off, and make me think she hadn't been texting him the whole time. I asked her is that the guy you said tried to kiss you and you dislike him, why does he have your number, and she got a little upset, and said he had to due to work. She told me he had a gf, and has slept with a lot of women they work with, and she couldn't stand him, I never believed this, but I just put it out my head. With any other relationship, no way in hell would I have put up with anything like that, but because I felt bad for her traumatic past, I let her get away with a lot of things, I just turned a blind eye to. I really honestly think she was seeing this guy, when she dumped me, and if not someone else, because for her to call me now 7 months later, makes me think, why now?  Though I have ignored her, my theory is she is either on the outs with my replacement, or he is done with her.  I'll bet anything on that being the case, and the co worker being the replacement.

[goldylamont]

i think you're spot on. which is unfortunate. good news is that you are willing to face this truth.

you don't deserve to be lied to like this. and honestly behavior like this deserves no empathy from the people they are hurting in my opinion. take care and realize who she really is. you could throw a tennis ball and chances are the person you hit has more integrity. keep working to detach and know there are many special-someones out there for you!

[Aussie0zborn]

Exactly what Goldy said. Keep away and save yourself the grief. Good luck.

[Ironmanrises]

My exUBPDgf raged at me at end of round 1 discard. She didnt rage at me at end of round 2 discard though. But was extremely cold, calm, and lethal. Was there someone else in both/either rounds? Unknown.

[simplyasiam]

my ex also never raged . she held everything in. she is great at hiding the her lies and sneaking around.

I had been told during the seven months we were apart this time that she had started having fits of anger.

I started seeing her again two months ago and ive seen one of these fits myself, yelling walking around outside nude when its 20 deg outside, beating her head on a dresser begging god to take her life.

eclectic your ex kinda of sounds like a BPD waif I know mine is reading about the waif help me to come to terms with the way she acts

[BorderlineMagnet]

Eclectic,

This describes what happened with my and my pwBPDexgf perfectly. During her all of a sudden silent treatment phase while we were a couple, she one day spontaneously just broke it off with a text that stated she didn't wanna be with anyone right now, and that it wasn't fair to keep me on the backburner of her life because she was so busy. Turns out she had been busy with my replacement for nearly a month. I indeed was on the backburner for when she was in need of sex. She kept me hanging by saying she was still in love with me. The only time I ever saw her angry at me was when u exposed her to him. Even then it wasn't really a rage. More like a bratty child who had been caught red-handed. At this point I believe she actually was still in love with me, yet couldn't face what she was throwing away. So yeah, they don't all rage, but the passive-aggressive stuff they do is just as harmful in my opinion.

[GreenMango]

Eclectic not everyone with BPD rages outwardly or violently.  One of the characteristics is hostility and that can be a general negative attitude towards loved ones.  Things like complaining and insults.  Sometimes hostility cam be passive aggressive.  Not fun.

[Turkish]

 mine would rarely the as in yelling ( must of the times it did was when I  escalated it to her level,  but is was the burning fuse type of rages,  Not loud,  but not quiet.  always demeaning,  and often in front of others,  which was abusive.  like me and her family going out to dinner at the worst time possible,  which wasn't my choice,  and having to wait 45  mins.  She showed up after we were there and we all accepted the way it was.  it was my fault,  and she blamed me in front of everybody and sat there angry. I  guess I  was supposed to manage the whole thing even though it wasn't my idea,  it was last minute,  and I  and her family were busy watching two babies. I  used to liken it to ten people in a room having a good time and then in walks the x,  bringing everybody down.  it was funny because she was always the one going on about negative energy,  when she was the biggest source of it!  She even " blessed"  our home when we moved in to get rid of bad vibes.  moving day,  however,  was all about her stressing out despite the help we had,  and her brothers even commented on the unacceptable was she was taking to me.

[Johan]

I actually asked her to shout at me or scream or something when receiving silent treatment... .I can honestly say silent treatment is without a doubt the most traumatic experience I have ever went through with a few random accusations and circular conversations and projection over them months.

I would not wish on my worst enemy.

There were part rages when under stress, and when I told her about them I was told it did not happen... .I said it did, and said when, she said she might have been a little angry... .do they do this mess with your head or are they in full belief or ashamed I wonder.

[Tincup]

mine never raged at me in person.  I got the silent treatment, loads of passive aggressive behavior.  She refused to get mad at me in person, she only would in emails or texts.  She actually accused me of having anger issues, and I am no an angry person at all.