If She gets me a Christmas gift...

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I'll refuse to open it. I'm not getting her one (as many of you know, she's still living in my home). Still debating on how to tactfully, but truthfully, explain why I am refusing it.

Maybe I'll be more "hurt" if she doesn't get me anything. Wow. I need to deal with that... .still looking for some kind of validation that she "cares" for me.

She actually never used to get me anything meaningful anyway. Truthfully, I used to telegraph that I didn't really "need" anything like that from her... .which probably fed her lack of self-esteem. Yes, I was probably a jerk to her sometimes.

Yet one more thing that existed/didn't exist that I won't miss. *sigh*

[Turkish]

I'll refuse to open it. I'm not getting her one (as many of you know, she's still living in my home). Still debating on how to tactfully, but truthfully, explain why I am refusing it.

Maybe I'll be more "hurt" if she doesn't get me anything. Wow. I need to deal with that... .still looking for some kind of validation that she "cares" for me.

She actually never used to get me anything meaningful anyway. Truthfully, I used to telegraph that I didn't really "need" anything like that from her... .which probably fed her lack of self-esteem. Yes, I was probably a jerk to her sometimes.

Yet one more thing that existed/didn't exist that I won't miss. *sigh*

[Waifed]

Turk, she will always care for you.  You will always hold a special place inside of her.  I threw away everything that the ex gave me and felt great doing it.  No more triggers in my house.  She will probably say the gift is "from the children".  Maybe you should just accept it but never put it to use, whatever it is. 

[Turkish]

Turk, she will always care for you.  You will always hold a special place inside of her.  I threw away everything that the ex gave me and felt great doing it.  No more triggers in my house.  She will probably say the gift is "from the children".  Maybe you should just accept it but never put it to use, whatever it is. 

Thanks, Waifed.  If clothing,  donate it ( or burn it :^).  As I  said,  she never got me anything  permanent if value  in 6  years.

[arn131arn]

Mine got me a Swiss Army Knife that you put on your keychain one year.  Really?  I do not hunt/fish/ camp or anything.  I work as a bartender full-time and got to school full-time... .Swiss Army Keychain Pocketknife?  This site is awesome!

[Turkish]

Mine got me a Swiss Army Knife that you put on your keychain one year.  Really?  I do not hunt/fish/ camp or anything.  I work as a bartender full-time and got to school full-time... .Swiss Army Keychain Pocketknife?  This site is awesome!

Maybe she thought you could use it to open bottles, because certainly that might be useful as a bartender :^p

I got mine the wrong colored iPad cover last year. She started raging, except the whole family was there, so she stopped herself. Not much gratitude for the $500 iPad she asked for. The fact that I got her the wrong color cover "proved" in her mind that I didn't know her, and therefore didn't really love her. We can't win with these people... .

[apple]

Of course you don't love her or know her... .How could you be connected since you got the wrong color iPad cover ?   sheesh   Sarcasm... .CB thinking

[Waifed]

Turk, she will always care for you.  You will always hold a special place inside of her.  I threw away everything that the ex gave me and felt great doing it.  No more triggers in my house.  She will probably say the gift is "from the children".  Maybe you should just accept it but never put it to use, whatever it is. 

Thanks, Waifed.  If clothing,  donate it ( or burn it :^).  As I  said,  she never got me anything  permanent if value  in 6  years.

Mine was the same. She was too self absorbed to think about anyone but herself.

[Turkish]

Turk, she will always care for you.  You will always hold a special place inside of her.  I threw away everything that the ex gave me and felt great doing it.  No more triggers in my house.  She will probably say the gift is "from the children".  Maybe you should just accept it but never put it to use, whatever it is. 

Thanks, Waifed.  If clothing,  donate it ( or burn it :^).  As I  said,  she never got me anything  permanent if value  in 6  years.

I'll give her a little credit.  She knew I liked watched and wanted to get me an expensive one. I  said to spend her  money better ( and I like what I like,  not what others think I like).  However,  she knows my hobbies,  and even a simple gift card targeted at those two hobbies would have been an easy no  brainer.  Never that,  though,  just a few shirts. 

Mine was the same. She was too self absorbed to think about anyone but herself.

[Perfidy]

Hey Turk... How goes it? You feeling good enough that I can tease you a little bit. Sometimes it's healthy. Thickens your skin up some. I like to be teased. Takes some of the sting off some times. There's an older movie "war of the roses" we'll have to sit down and watch that one some time. I'll bring the popcorn. Now don't tease me back! You know how I am... I can dish it out but I can't take it!

Seriously though, I've read a lot of your posts with my jaw open and admiring you for your strength. I never know what I could say because I couldn't even imagine that situation. I sure hope it gets better for you and I know how compelling it is when you have children together. I live in the USA. Somebody told me once that we should move all the women to the east coast all the men to the west coast and the children to the middle so nobody has to drive any farther to visit. I get all goofy just getting a text or a phone call. If I got a Christmas gift I'd probably post here a hundred times a day instead of the normal 20 times. Take it light my friend.

[Turkish]

Hey Turk... How goes it? You feeling good enough that I can tease you a little bit. Sometimes it's healthy. Thickens your skin up some. I like to be teased. Takes some of the sting off some times. There's an older movie "war of the roses" we'll have to sit down and watch that one some time. I'll bring the popcorn. Now don't tease me back! You know how I am... I can dish it out but I can't take it!

Seriously though, I've read a lot of your posts with my jaw open and admiring you for your strength. I never know what I could say because I couldn't even imagine that situation. I sure hope it gets better for you and I know how compelling it is when you have children together. I live in the USA. Somebody told me once that we should move all the women to the east coast all the men to the west coast and the children to the middle so nobody has to drive any farther to visit. I get all goofy just getting a text or a phone call. If I got a Christmas gift I'd probably post here a hundred times a day instead of the normal 20 times. Take it light my friend.

Thanks, you can tease me. I'm not that delicate (not at all, actually... .comes from a childhood of being bullied, so I have my own Ironman suit (sorry, IMF if your reading, had to borrow this). I have a dark sense of humor and an often irreverent at what might be termed inappropriate times for "squares." My X never really got me in that regard, though she did loosen up a bit after a few years. Most people think I can be funny as heck, in an often eccentric way. My kids think I am funny as hell, and so are they. My son may even be weirder than I am. Glad they get it from me rather than being uptight like their mom.

Getting through this weekend shouldn't be a problem. The new year will bring new issues. Battening down my hatches for the possible storm, logistically, legally, and financially... .Emotionally? Trying to not end up like the HMS Terror, frozen and lost forever in the Arctic ice trying to find the Northwest Passage. I think I can avoid the frostbite, starvation and cannibalism though. If I avoid two out of three, I'll consider myself on the way to healing.

[Perfidy]

Ha! That's cool that you have a good sense of humor. My sense of humor was nonexistent for a long time after the split. It's starting to come back and laughter is damn precious to me now. The natural endorphins from humor are a great relief after the crushing depression that I experienced. I'm like you in that I can have a bizarre sense of humor at times. Not everybody thinks I'm funny sometimes when I think I'm hilarious. That's just me though.