Leaving a Waif BPDex fiancee

[arn131arn]

My ex-fiance was always the one that was in need.  She was a victim in every sense of the word.  She assassinated my character with anyone and everyone who would listen.

I bought a home, remodeled it, and she felt entitled to be on the ownership even though she never paid a dime for it.  She said the same thing about the engagement ring that I never gave back. 

Her mom told me last week that I wasn't a man becasue I would/did not buy her a big SUV which would be more protective for my son than her little 2 door Honda.  Now, I have worked full-time at night, and gone to school full-time during the day, paid the house note, bills, etc, but somehow now I needed to buy her a big SUV, as well?

She is constantly working out, she is super feminine, and well, beautiful.  I can remember having a good morning before my son's baseball tournament.  Cooked breakfest, ate as a family, and enjoyed the 45 minute car ride all together.  But as we were pulling into the parking lot, she got really distant.  Almost like she was getting into character for the next take of her "movie." 

What is a borderline waif, and why are they so dangerous?

Thanks...

[Waifed]

A waif is a wolf in sheep's clothing.  The last month after I caught mine cheating and told her she was on borrowed time, she became a different person.  It was amazing to see this transformation right before my eyes.  It was like my "self" had left her body and she was recalculating into the next victim's image.  I don't know if she ever got there with the next victim and don't really care.  I am now thankful that I am recovering and well on my way to a better life.

[arn131arn]

All this talk of cheating makes me wonder.  She was adimant and had a zero policy for cheating.  I was with her for 14 years and only experienced it once.  During a split and the rest of her years with me she excused it by saying, "well we were broken up at the time."  But when I got involved on a plutonic level years later after another one of the splits... .she never let me live it down. 

Anyway, I worked at night and she had a security block on her cell phone, and would NEVER let me see it.  But would CONSTANTLY check mine, and even once created drama, by texting (from my phone) a girl something graphic and sexual.  Which makes me wonder now.  She stopped having sex with me, started sleeping with my son every night, and would be out of the house before I woke up in the morning.  Hmmm... .

[arn131arn]

Ohhh, and NOO pictures of her and I together on Facebook... .WOW!  I look at my sister's FB page, pictures of her family, her and friends, but always a picture of her and my BIL together, smilinig, at places, doing things... .none of that with my ex BPD fiancee... .WOW!  I think I just had a realization but have no clue yet what it is... .LOL

[Turkish]

A waif is a wolf in sheep's clothing.  The last month after I caught mine cheating and told her she was on borrowed time, she became a different person.  It was amazing to see this transformation right before my eyes.  It was like my "self" had left her body and she was recalculating into the next victim's image.  I don't know if she ever got there with the next victim and don't really care.  I am now thankful that I am recovering and well on my way to a better life.

I saw mine cycle from detached and wounded 5 year old girl, to detached and wounded teenager (and lovestruct teenager, based upon a few things she wrote that I found), back to almost engaged adult again, to her "normal" self, but still a little detached from the kids (only I see this right now), and from me romantically, of course. It's weird, but oddly fascinating to see the different identities manifest themselves before my eyes.

[shellsh0cked]

All this talk of cheating makes me wonder.  She was adimant and had a zero policy for cheating.  I was with her for 14 years and only experienced it once.  During a split and the rest of her years with me she excused it by saying, "well we were broken up at the time."  But when I got involved on a plutonic level years later after another one of the splits... .she never let me live it down. 

Anyway, I worked at night and she had a security block on her cell phone, and would NEVER let me see it.  But would CONSTANTLY check mine, and even once created drama, by texting (from my phone) a girl something graphic and sexual.  Which makes me wonder now.  She stopped having sex with me, started sleeping with my son every night, and would be out of the house before I woke up in the morning.  Hmmm... .

Hey y'all, this is James in Alabama.  Been a member for a while, but have never really posted here.  I have some stuff to share with yall for sure.  It was one hell of a ride.  Been out of it 17 months, and just really feel normal for about 2.

My ex... .let's call her Sara.  I got that "we were broke up at the time" garbage too.  Only trouble was it was like 5 hours later.  She did that twice too.  On an extended breakup she went back to her ex boyfriend... .drove up there.  Like 350 miles.  Slept with him too.  I put up with a lot of crap.   I took her on a business trip with me to California.  Spent $800 on a last minute plane ticket.  She was acting weird when we went to bed and standoffish.  Next day I realized my Blackberry had been wiped out (company) and my personal one was on like the 5th password attempt.  She admitted to trying to look at my phone and wiping it out... .I will give her credit for not lying, but she said that she was having a moment and wanted to see.  I told her if you want on the phone the password for the personal one is xxxx... .You should have just asked if you felt insecure.  I have nothing to hide.  Never did.  I kept the phone locked in case I lost it... .not to hide anything.  Company phone is policy locked after 30 minutes.  No choice on that one. 

The night before we went home we had sex and the next morning and it was really great.  Next morning she was cold, distant and hateful.  She wouldn't talk to me until we were in the line to get our tickets.  She told me that she knew I was thinking of other women when I was having sex with her because when she turned to look at me that my "eyes were closed".  Okay?  How did she arrive at that observation?  Now she reads minds?  Wow. 

These are some of the tiniest of stuff I endured.  Much was MUCH worse... .especially the way it ended. 

[Waifed]

Ohhh, and NOO pictures of her and I together on Facebook... .WOW!  I look at my sister's FB page, pictures of her family, her and friends, but always a picture of her and my BIL together, smilinig, at places, doing things... .none of that with my ex BPD fiancee... .WOW!  I think I just had a realization but have no clue yet what it is... .LOL

Same here. No Pics of us together. She locked her phone and hid everything. I have no idea how many people she had been with.

[shellsh0cked]

Ohhh, and NOO pictures of her and I together on Facebook... .WOW!  I look at my sister's FB page, pictures of her family, her and friends, but always a picture of her and my BIL together, smilinig, at places, doing things... .none of that with my ex BPD fiancee... .WOW!  I think I just had a realization but have no clue yet what it is... .LOL

Same here. No Pics of us together. She locked her phone and hid everything. I have no idea how many people she had been with.

Probably enough to make you really uncomfortable I would bet.  Same boat bro... .