She Tried to Recycle Junk From Our R/S Last Night

[Turkish]

The conversation came out about her mom having a tough time watching the kids sometimes 10 hours a day before either of us picked them up. I suggested that if it was so stressful on her mom, then we should look for alternative childcare. She shot that down, but then reiterated that her mom commented on how tiring it was. Here, I didn't say much, since she has her own co-dependent FOG going on with her family... .a lot of which my X chooses to take on herself (to feel valued, I guess, but hard to break a decades long cycle).

She said her mom watches them a lot. i said, sure, but we pay her (less than outside childcare, but still almost a grand/mo. for both kids), and that that was why I felt we needed to watch the kids ourselves on weekends instead of pawning them off on her mom like we used to do now and then. She said that was "to work on our r/s!" I replied that we chose to have not one, but two children, and that our prime responsibility was to our kids, not to ourselves. We were adults and parents, and spending time with our children was our #1 priority. She didn't respond.

I then said that I didn't think it was right for her to go start volunteer work on the weekend with a new project if it meant taking time away from the kids. She kind of got me after that when she said, "I told you it was a paid job. I just volunteered that one day to see if I would like it, and it would bring in extra income. You didn't listen to what I said!" I did offer a weak apology... .I may have thrown something in about not abandoning our kids to fill our own selfish needs on our own as well. A verbal jab at her going out, of course. No response. In reality, I realize that an issue like this could be worked out in a mostly healthy r/s, but it was already downhill by then. Her cheating/abandonment script was already into the prologue.

Oops, maybe so... .or maybe she didn't explain it, because she used to gaslight me like this, so I became hyper aware of things she said, and I caught her pulling this before. I let it slide, not having recorded proof that she actually explained it in so much detail. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. All in all, I started paying attention to things SHE would forget that I told her, but I never threw those things back in her face, because I realized that we have busy lives and we can't be expected to record every conversation verbatim in our heads.

The quality of mercy... .something I figured out about three years ago (finally) that she

utterly lacked.

[santa]

This is what sucks about having a child with your ex. I started out today talking to my ex about our child and it turned into her bringing up when I cheated on her right when we first started dating and then she gave me grief about some old ex I dated before I even met her. Then that turned into it's own conversation and we still need to talk about our kid, so the whole thing was pointless.

[necchi]

I called my ex last week (not BPDex) to tell her I was engaging in filling chs about D13 n/c with me from exBPDgf smear campaign,anyhow,she didn't listen to me at all just quickly speaking over me, I couldn't place a word, all about her? What is this?

So now she doesn't know about it and I consider D13 mom doesn't want to be bothered with this, she does not care to know if or not D13 being manipulated and not concerned about D13/father r/s.

She has daddy issues, father left her at early age... . This one I didn't sob when she left 1 1/2 hrs from me and the kids (moved with a men who killed a young man DWUI 1 year ago 21/12/2012)----sad-- This is why she always try to validate how much a good mom she is every time we speak,well I mean her.

Tell you the truth,exBPDgf was 100x the mom she his!

My rant-----