Nearly two years out

[really]

Christmas is hard as it was just after Xmas 2 years ago that she ended it suddenly with no closure or honesty.

Am better than I was this time last year but a long way from being fully healed.   Hoped for a few mins of her time to speak honestly but accept that will never come. 

Best wishes to all on this board. Thanks for the insights that have helped me realise I am not completely crazy.  For those just starting out on recovery it does get better.   Sometimes much slower than hoped but there is light at the end of the tunnel

I hope this time next year I will have no need to read this board

[goldylamont]

i'm nearly 2 years out too! and doing much better now than 2 years ago, much better than 1 year ago even, and still processing some too. i think it's good for people to see timelines attached and understand that recovery takes time. so good for you (us).

and ya, it was over the christmas holidays that i ditched her and made her go see her family alone b/c of how she was treating me. i missed them but eff her really, no regrets on taking that stand. but soo glad i'm not dealing with that drama! hang in there really 

[WalrusGumboot]

Two years this coming April. Holidays were never good with her, so I don't miss her a bit when they come around.

Healing has been slow and steady. I am much better than this time last year. I am much more self-aware of my own behaviors and am able to better distinguish between what are behaviors that are me and what are behaviors that could be attributed to the lingering after-effects of life with my exBPDw.

I don't know what the future brings for me. I certainly hope it brings complete healing, but my realistic side seems to think there are parts of me that has changed forever, some for the better and some for the worse. Aren't we all the sum of our life experiences?