Is there any good way to suggest to BPD that this is what they may be suffering?

[byfaith]

I'm about ready to go under. There are so many other external circumstances going on I would hate to crush her or upset the delicate balance that does exist.

I thought about telling her (uBPDw) that I need to talk to someone in order to help myself and get some one on one insight as to what she may be suffering.

would suggesting this to her make matters worse?  I went back and read one of the main articles on this site and it almost fits to a T as to what has transpired in our relationship. We have been together for 32 months. We got married 6 months after we met. She knows something is wrong with her but she attributes it to depression and having a son with SZ.

over a year ago I picked up a book that she was actually reading that was describing different personalities within the church. I happened upon a chapter about borderline and since then I have witnessed the behaviors.   

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[123Phoebe]

Hi byfaith,

would suggesting this to her make matters worse?   

This is such a hard call and something we've all probably contemplated.  It would be nice if we could tell our partners that they're behavior is making us question all kinds of things, that they'd hear us, understand and then get the help they need... .

No doubt, we need a little help to understand what's going on.  We can do this without their permission or telling them what we think they're suffering from  

Have you read the Lessons ?  It might be a really good place to start.

Hang in there, byfaith... .

[Calm Waters]

for what its worth when i tried to explain this to my exBPD gf she called the police and accused me of stalking her, 3 months earlier i had helped her recover from her suicide attempt after we had a tiff / split. I went through hell thinking she may die, she was in a coma for 3 days. Its not worth the pain to try and explain, they will deny reject and make it all about you and if necessary attack and try and destroy you rather than go there

[Seneca]

i suggested "psycological problems" in the past and he'd just project: "you are the one who is sick! i think you have a personality disorder" etc. high functioning BPDs are up to their eyeballs in denial. i am sorry, i don't think saying something will help.  :'(