What a difference a year makes

[alliance]

 

Last year at this time, I was a mess. My ex had dumped me, and within days was back with another of her exes. I was having horrible panic attacks, couldn't get out of my own way, and was miserable.

With the exception of a 2 week lapse in judgment, we have been NC for 7 months now.  It's been a long haul of learning, reflecting, and taking care of me.

Today, I am comfortable saying I am finally at peace. Now that's a xmas gift!

[Octoberfest]

Last year, this week, at this same place(I am in Colorado visiting my sister for Christmas), I found out my BPDex had been dating another guy for the entire past month as well as that she had had sex with my close friend and made out with my best friend.  It's when I first started researching BPD. I got back together with her mid Januar and we dated until the first week of may, when I again found out she was cheating. All gold she cheated the entire 9 months we were involved. Last year at this time was an awful time... .everything I thought I knew was shattered.

Being back here this year was a little triggering... .but nit as bad as I feared. In a way I was in awe.  I looked at furniture where I had sat or has my phone that night I found out about it all and just thought "wow... .A year ago I was with/dealing with <BPDex>". I too am 7 months out of the relationhit, and 5 months NC. I can tell you, I never believed it possible I could be here. I genuinely thought not being with my BPDex would kill me.

I am humbled to be Here today.  I went through a crucible, but I made it... .Battered, bloodied, and bruised, but I made it.

[Surnia]

Hi alliance

Thank you for sharing this, very good news! You can be proud of yourself. 

 

[RecycledNoMore]

Its so good to hear posts like yours alliance, im 5 months out, feeling better everyday,never thought it would be possible

[VeryFree]

It has been years ago since my last nice Christmas. Every year the holidays seemed to be less attractive.

Now I'm a year out of my r/s and I'm actually looking forward to the Christmasdays for a few weeks now.

Doing nice things with nice people. Merry Christmas!

                             

[babyducks]

Hi Alliance,

Last year at this time I was in the middle of chaos.  It was right around this that we broke up for the first time (well first time by my count, second time by her count)  after an argument that still defies any kind of rational description and was awe inspiring for its lack of sanity.  On both our parts.

This year I had a quiet calm celebration.  Gave gifts to someone who appreciated them.  That was nice.  No fighting.  No unrealistic expectations.   No extreme demands. 

I still have to get through New Years, which is going to be triggering as heck, but I am sure I can do it.

babyducks