If you allow limited contact...

[bright_future_mama]

I am wondering if at some point I do allow limited contact, do you set the boundaries with them from the beginning?  I am in no contact right now.  I'm not sure I want to go to LC with my Mom, but it has crossed my mind  .

For example, my boundaries would be she would have to call first, not just show up, no holidays, always supervised in terms of my children, possibly a public place, stuff like that. No discussion of other family members, her problems, the past, etc.  No personal discussions.  I mean, I don't know what kind of relationship that is anyway... .I guess I'm just wondering if you put all this out there from the get go.  I'm sure she will balk at it but there is no way I would go to LC without these guidelines.

[Sitara]

It seems it would be important to state those boundaries right from the start.  Better to discuss when you're calm than after she's gotten a rise out of you by hitting one of your triggers.