just got my new years text

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Was doing so well today.

Just received a generic text to "all her friends"

Says happy new year, from her, the replacement and her daughter.

Says they will be in New zealand next year.

She wishes us a year full of love like they have! I adored her!

Theyve only been together 3 months.

how have I wasted 5 years of my life to this horrible woman?

I feel sick. Hurt, angry, used.

Well, its time for me to shine!

It changes nothing. This is my year and im gonna claiim it.

Shes still a f@&#ing bi%§h though.

Happy new year guys!

[Naddred369]

Was doing so well today.

Just received a generic text to "all her friends"

Says happy new year, from her, the replacement and her daughter.

Says they will be in New zealand next year.

She wishes us a year full of love like they have! I adored her!

Theyve only been together 3 months.

how have I wasted 5 years of my life to this horrible woman?

I feel sick. Hurt, angry, used.

Well, its time for me to shine!

It changes nothing. This is my year and im gonna claiim it.

Shes still a f@&#ing bi%§h though.

Happy new year guys!

[Pretty Woman]

Dude, delete it immediately so you cannot look and block her number.

This is YOUR year. 

[Surnia]

Hi Naddred

This is tough. I feel with you.

I would be angry too.

Delete it.

From all my heart: Happy new Year to you! 

 

[Naddred369]

Its deleted.

Jeez, they really know how to hurt dont they!

Thats why she has been sending me texts now and again, to initiate contact to brag about her life.

Its our year. OUR year.

Ive been positive all day and I intend to be positive all night.

Ill have a collection and pay for her flight if she would leave right now!

the skank! ;-)

Keep smilling.   

[sadinnc98]

Delete and block! I am already dreading it too... .Or dreading I wont get one meaning he is out with someone else  :'( sucks. Im glad the holidays are about over.

[Naddred369]

I cant block her from my phone.!

IF she manages to control her BPD and they actually DO manage to get to New Zealand, hes gonna be stuck with the lying, cheating whore!

Poor sod.

As I say, it changes nothing.

I have to re make my life, acheive my goals and live my dreams.

I dont want a small life anymore. Gonna kick the arse out of it from now on.

Let 2014 be the year of having fun, it cant all be serious!

 

[Pretty Woman]

Naddred,

   Hey I just cancelled plans with a super great gal to stay home instead. 

I don't really care what my ex is doing or with who.  I have an active imagination so I can only imagine with the snow we are about to get it will be a romantic evening.

Anyways I'm just going to stay in and clean. Start 2014 with all the filth out if my life (ex included). 

[Naddred369]

Earth,

Ive cancelled plans with a nice woman, im just not ready to be with anyone yet. I want to be selfish and do everything I want to do this year.

Im pissed off with the text, but its pure idealization phase, you know it, I know it. It will all fail at some point.

And if it dont then good luck to her.

Shes not my problem any more.

In 12 months Earth angel, our lives wil be amazing.

I promise!

[allweareisallweare]

Earth,

Ive cancelled plans with a nice woman, im just not ready to be with anyone yet. I want to be selfish and do everything I want to do this year.

Im pissed off with the text, but its pure idealization phase, you know it, I know it. It will all fail at some point.

And if it dont then good luck to her.

Shes not my problem any more.

In 12 months Earth angel, our lives wil be amazing.

I promise!

Love to you, man I will remember that... ."In 12 months, Earth angel our lives will be amazing, I promise"    sometimes it's celebration to be rid of those bad people; and you're right, our lives will be amazing    happy new year, boardies

[Naddred369]

Well, f@&ck New Zealand and f@&ck BPDex's of all genders and persuasions!

Im going down the pub, its gonna be messy but its self medication o' clock!

I had a thought today. Rare, I know!

The ex isnt hurting us any more, we are hurting ourselves.

Self flagillation.

I was/am good enough.

Im a good man, kind, loving, fearless and loyal.

And GINGER!

Come on, lets live our lives again.

Happy new year, we are free!

( ill be a sobbing wreck on here tomoz!lol)

Happy new year BPD family, id be lost without you all.

[Waifed]

Earth,

Ive cancelled plans with a nice woman, im just not ready to be with anyone yet. I want to be selfish and do everything I want to do this year.

Im pissed off with the text, but its pure idealization phase, you know it, I know it. It will all fail at some point.

And if it dont then good luck to her.

Shes not my problem any more.

In 12 months Earth angel, our lives wil be amazing.

I promise!

If their relationship is so great why is she texting you! I would have been tempted to respond with a "Happy New Year ". I know NC is supposed to be best but why not kill them with kindness. Their has to be a way to screw with a crazy person!  I aim to figure it out

   

[Tincanmike]

I got a text today too. "Are you alive. Are you OK?".  I think to myself, what does she care?  She's recycled me and moved on to 3 others in a span of 4 months and has now moved in with a guy, that if I had told her months ago she had done this, she would have laughed at me.  What the hell?  My answers would be,  "Yeah, I'm alive. Do you think I'm OK?"  She's a new year baby so her birthday is tomorrow.  She'll probably be celebrating tonight with the replacement and all her "friends" and just wants to ease her own conscience so she can party it up without any negative thoughts about me.  I don't know.  And I DO care, but I can't anymore for my own sanity.  I will not answer.  She can wonder all she wants.  (Have a good New Years everyone!)  

[Naddred369]

Waifed.

I did just that.

I ignored everything in the message and just said " happy new year to you to"

Then deleted her number again.

Im still an enigma to her.

I beleived everything she said when we were together. It was mostly lies.

Why should I beleive anything she says now?

She is still the same BPD as before.

Whatever, it was a hurtful text to send me. She knows this. Thats why she sent it to me

[willtimeheal]

I got a text too.  She broke up with me yesterday... .perfect timing.  I just paid for all of Xmas and her kids bday. She wished me a happy New year. How f`ed up is that?  She keeps saying if I could only be patient with her and let her fix her... .guess what honey you actually have to go to therapy and work on yourself to improve. I have spent over four years waiting for her to fix herself. I have done the work on me and want to move forward. She is standing still and dragging me down. I do miss her and desperately want that life we planned but as more time goes by I realize it is.probably never going to happen. So I want 2014 to be positive so I am with you guys. I am cleaning house... .kickin ___ to the wind and looking forward to a new year full of possibilities.

Here is to a.great year for all of us. We deserve it. Happy New year friends. This is.our year!

[Tincanmike]

Waifed.

I did just that.

I ignored everything in the message and just said " happy new year to you to"

Then deleted her number again.

Im still an enigma to her.

I beleived everything she said when we were together. It was mostly lies.

Why should I beleive anything she says now?

She is still the same BPD as before.

Whatever, it was a hurtful text to send me. She knows this. Thats why she sent it to me

I think that after we have asked them to maintain no contact and they continue to contact us that the very act of doing so is hurtful.  To me at least, it doesn't matter what she says, it's the fact in itself that she's sending me messages knowing how much pain I'm in that gets me.  :)o they just not think about this, not care, or are they purposefully trying to rub salt in our wounds?  Can they not just leave us alone to heal from the wounds they created?  Have a good time Naddred tonight and be safe!

[Waifed]

Waifed.

I did just that.

I ignored everything in the message and just said " happy new year to you to"

Then deleted her number again.

Im still an enigma to her.

I beleived everything she said when we were together. It was mostly lies.

Why should I beleive anything she says now?

She is still the same BPD as before.

Whatever, it was a hurtful text to send me. She knows this. Thats why she sent it to me

That is exactly why she sent it. Be strong!

[Waifed]

Waifed.

I did just that.

I ignored everything in the message and just said " happy new year to you to"

Then deleted her number again.

Im still an enigma to her.

I beleived everything she said when we were together. It was mostly lies.

Why should I beleive anything she says now?

She is still the same BPD as before.

Whatever, it was a hurtful text to send me. She knows this. Thats why she sent it to me

I think that after we have asked them to maintain no contact and they continue to contact us that the very act of doing so is hurtful.  To me at least, it doesn't matter what she says, it's the fact in itself that she's sending me messages knowing how much pain I'm in that gets me.  :)o they just not think about this, not care, or are they purposefully trying to rub salt in our wounds?  Can they not just leave us alone to heal from the wounds they created?  Have a good time Naddred tonight and be safe!

I don't always think they do it to hurt us. I think it is more like them putting out feelers to see if they still have control. NC or responding like you are indifferent just amplifies their desire to keep you on their list.

I haven't received any correspondence but when we were breaking it off she did ask me if I would continue to see her once I remarried. That in itself is very telling about the mind of a pwBPD. You are never totally out of their minds. You are just put on a list in their preferred pecking order. Just my opinion.

[MellowOddFellow]

my exBPD just txt me asking to talk... .sinking toxic feeling have arrived... .

i know i shouldnt but saw her instagram and she definitely seems ok, not only that she seems to be on a "people are shady/fake" kinda attitude

"Real is rare" says her picture... .the irony is almost painful when noting it 

[Naddred369]

She texts, I reply.

Its basic. She wants to tell me what shes up to. Shes excited by it, but, coz she cant really let me go she wants to include me. But it hurts.

Thats my take on it.

She wont get to new zealand. She wont get down the street in six months!

[RecycledNoMore]

New Zealand!

Noo!

We have enough pwBPD already:)

[Naddred369]

Had a really good night, got home at 5am!

Then preceded to find her mob number and write a text say what a cheating nasty vindictive hateful person she is and demanding she deletes my number and never contacts me again!

Fortunatly the text wouldnt send!

I tried repeatedly to send it but the networks had crashed! Thank gods.

Now ive sobered up im SO glad I never sent that! Lol.

[love4meNOTu]

Now that, my friend, was a little miracle.

I am so glad for you! I have a few drunk texts I would love to take back... but I can't. I can't believe that I forgot how cruel he was, and how he never listened to anything I said. I don't know about your pwBPD, but mine only cared about himself.

 9

[Naddred369]

Love4menotu,

Im rapidly forgetting the horrible things she did and said to me. The emotion/anger is going and all I can think of is the good stuff.

Shes becoming an angel again!

She was/is abusive.

Why the hell am I missing her?

[Cardinals in Flight]

I'm jealous of everyone who got a text, at least you know you're on their radar.

On the other hand, I'm still in shock that the holidays and birthdays have gone unacknowleged, I know how important they are in her mind so it's like a triple "screw you" towards me.

Can only go up from here     9

[Tincup]

Or maybe you are lucky you did not have any contact. I had an email last week and it set me back some. I think NC with these people is best until they have no effect on you anymore. I mean I venture to say these relationships are by far the most stressful that we all have had. Let's all hope for a Peaceful and stress free new year.

[myself]

I'm jealous of everyone who got a text, at least you know you're on their radar.

On the other hand, I'm still in shock that the holidays and birthdays have gone unacknowleged, I know how important they are in her mind so it's like a triple "screw you" towards me.

Can only go up from here     9

I didn't get anything, and it hurt. Not as much as it used to. The shock I felt is wearing off, becoming feelings of this is how it is from now on. I didn't send her anything either. Because she hurt me so much in the past. The kind of hurts that make me hope she never contacts me again. I've been taking myself off her radar. Happy New Year!

[love4meNOTu]

Love4menotu,

Im rapidly forgetting the horrible things she did and said to me. The emotion/anger is going and all I can think of is the good stuff.

Shes becoming an angel again!

She was/is abusive.

Why the hell am I missing her?

I know Naddred... .

I do the same thing. The only thing that helps is writing down the things he did that were abusive. Once you read that list, logic overwhelms emotion. It will eventually "stick" sweetie. It's hard to hold two views of a person in your head, i.e. cognitive dissonance. Once you blend the two views into one, and see the whole person who was hidden from you initially, the pain does start to diminish.

I know you don't want her back. What you want back is how she made you feel. She made you feel special, initially. Now her poison and disregulation will be aimed elsewhere. We are both lucky to be out, regardless of how we long for them.

I'm gonna say a little prayer for Naddred today. That Naddred knows he is not alone, and to trust in the truth... . and the truth is there Naddred. You know she was abusive, you did not make it up, and you couldn't have borne the pain and confusion of being with her for another minute. Not another minute. YOU matter... . YOU.

Blessings,

L

[Naddred369]

Love4menotu,

Thankyou for that prayer. You brought a tear to my eyes now! Lol. Thanks.

Thanks for your kindness, thoughts and advice.