Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 08:38:40 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: 2013 was the worst year of my life so far. (Read 419 times)
Perfidy
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594
2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
«
on:
January 01, 2014, 01:40:47 AM »
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No, I'm not drunk.
Ok a lot happened last year. It's all wrapped up in a negative package. I lost my borderline parasite girlfriend... Oh boo hoo! Nearly killed me. Withered me down to the core. So I've been spending the best part of a year rebuilding and reevaluating my life. There was a fire. I lost everything. I had the clothes on my back left. There's more, but lets go with that. Ok... . I have a unique opportunity here. I get to rebuild myself from the ashes. I am feeling really good right now. Whenever I feel like this I get clobbered. I get knocked right on my butt and kicked square in the balls. It must be that non linear thing coming around. I wished I could sustain this great feeling that I have right now. I'm excited and looking forward to the future. I'm alone because I want to be. I did not jump at the first opportunity to get involved again. For the first fifteen or fourteen years of my life I was single. I took a year off after my divorce in 1995. Since then I've been in about a half dozen relationships, the longest with a borderline. Ok... . I need that year again. Maybe even more. I'm liking being single. Except for one super cute young lady I haven't been too interested in being attached again. Wow... . I think I'm finally getting the ex behind me. Now I'm anticipating doom. The feeling of impending doom as my logical feeling after a natural high. WTF CAUSES THIS?
Logged
MammaMia
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1098
Re: 2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
«
Reply #1 on:
January 01, 2014, 02:36:52 AM »
Perfidy
2013 was a hard year for you.
The feeling of gloom and doom is most likely caused by the fact you have been badly hurt (traumatized) in the past, and unconsciously, you may feel as if you do not deserve to be happy. Being with a pwBPD can actually make you believe that... . so you live in fear of the future and more emotional pain.
If we spend enough time with a pwBPD we can become so conditioned to be on guard for the next impending disaster, that it can be a difficult habit to break psychologically. Remind yourself not to think negatively.
You are in control, and are free to move on with a new and positive attitude. As you said, a new beginning.
If you think good thoughts, there is a high probability good things will happen.
Logged
js friend
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1110
Re: 2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
«
Reply #2 on:
January 01, 2014, 03:29:29 AM »
Hi Perfidy 9
I would echo everything that MammaMia has said.
2013 was a pretty bad year for you. You had a lot of stressful events happen to you over a short period of time which I would say has caused you symtoms of Chronic stress so no-one would be suprised that you are feeling this way now.
Try to relax and take every day as it comes and be kind to yourself.
Try to replace any negative thoughts with positive ones(It takes practice, but it works) and remind yourself how much you have achieved.
You deserve a little happiness Perifdy so go with it.
Logged
Perfidy
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594
Re: 2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
«
Reply #3 on:
January 01, 2014, 02:47:47 PM »
Jf, mm... Thank you for your kind words of support. I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Having a great moment for no particular reason is a treasure to me after what I've had to go through. I know it takes time and I've had the feeling that in trying to rush it to a cure and I am just not being realistic. Impatient if you will.
Logged
Changingman
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Daughter 15, Son 14
Posts: 644
Re: 2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
«
Reply #4 on:
January 10, 2014, 01:31:06 PM »
When I first came on this site I wanted to know how long to get over a BPD abusive relationship, a year?
I haven't got a year I'm 50.
Ha that thought seems as long ago as the RS now.
Plenty of time, to heal and build my life again.
Good luck Perfidy
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12176
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: 2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
«
Reply #5 on:
January 10, 2014, 01:42:45 PM »
Worst year of my life since my teen years with my mom and her depression, emotional dysregulation, verbal and periodic physical abuse (and being homeless, living like savages, basically... . ).
I had a good 17 years of peace... . then I met the Waif Of My Life. I hope to never meet another. But that's up to me. Good luck to us all.
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
2013 was the worst year of my life so far.
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...