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[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

When I first got together with my exBpdGf she used to tell me how she would self Sabotage good things in her life. So about 4 months in to our relationship she started to self sabotage our relationship, doing things that would be asking for trouble like "testing me", always testing me, checking my emails and getting pissed at conversations I had from years prior to meeting her with my ex before her, starting arguments over the dumbest hit, comparing me to her ex's just being mean... . Anyways this continued for the remainder of our 2 and a half year intense relationship. She would go in and out of self sabotage but by the end she would say things like "I love you too much, you are the one that has to leave me" "Please don't answer my calls when I call you" "I just wanted to be friends" and then a day later "I am so in love with you".

Basically she knew what she was doing by self sabotaging but she still takes no responsibility for anything, ie. it's my fault she went to rehab for depression, its my fault she drinks, it's my fault she has a horrible relationship with her family, it's my fault she gained weight, it's MY fault that shes heart broken, what the heck... . I was the one that was pushing her to go to therapy for her and also go to couples therapy, but I am to blame for her heart ache because what she "idealized" me as I just didn't match up to I guess... .

[magichat101]

When I first got together with my exBpdGf she used to tell me how she would self Sabotage good things in her life. So about 4 months in to our relationship she started to self sabotage our relationship, doing things that would be asking for trouble like "testing me", always testing me, checking my emails and getting pissed at conversations I had from years prior to meeting her with my ex before her, starting arguments over the dumbest hit, comparing me to her ex's just being mean... . Anyways this continued for the remainder of our 2 and a half year intense relationship. She would go in and out of self sabotage but by the end she would say things like "I love you too much, you are the one that has to leave me" "Please don't answer my calls when I call you" "I just wanted to be friends" and then a day later "I am so in love with you".

Basically she knew what she was doing by self sabotaging but she still takes no responsibility for anything, ie. it's my fault she went to rehab for depression, its my fault she drinks, it's my fault she has a horrible relationship with her family, it's my fault she gained weight, it's MY fault that shes heart broken, what the heck... . I was the one that was pushing her to go to therapy for her and also go to couples therapy, but I am to blame for her heart ache because what she "idealized" me as I just didn't match up to I guess... .

[blueeyedjess]

  The inability to take responsibility is something that drives a caretaker to drink. 

You know they know, you know they see it, but they won't own up to it- all the while trying to force you to own up to stuff that isn't yours to begin with. GRRRR... .