Does your BPDso have diet/food issues?

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

My wife always had body image issues so food and her didn't always get along. She would track the calories she consumed too.

She also became a vegan 4 years ago. It's been suggested to me that part of this strict diet control (being vegan/counting calories) is a way for them to control something externally because of what they can't control internally.

Can anyone else share similar experiences?

[UnLuckyLady]

Yes I can completely relate. My xBPDbf had an app on his phone that could track every single calorie he put into his body that day.  He worked out incessantly, ran 20+ miles a day and rode his bike even more. although he looked amazing, I know he was miserable inside... .

[Nicco]

My exBPDgf always had HUGE food and self-image problems.

Actually she's bulimic but she told she used to be anorexic too... . and constantly blaming her self for her body... . something i never uderstood since she's just GORGEUS... . a very uncommon beauty... . she could have EVERY man in the world.

During the ending phase of our r/s she told i was the first partner who had the chance to "share" with her bulimic crisis,that i was the first one she felt comfortable watching her while eating mountains of crap food and then puke.

Normally she's strictly vegetarian and very focused just on very healty food.

What is funny is that sometimes i partly "partecipated" to these crisis eating the same things with her to make her feel definitely more comfortable with her problem.

[Turkish]

Mine was trying to be a vegetarian when I met her. She ended up anemic.

As she felt I devalued her and detached, she became obsessed with counting calories and weighing herself. She is a waif in appearence. Still seems healthy, but is petite. There is not a darn thing "wrong" with her body, if one has to judge.

[Free2Bee]

My partner was celiac, so she wasn't supposed to eat anything with gluten. I'm gluten sensitive too, so this didn't bother me. I think she sometimes self-sabotaged, though, eating something with gluten or risk of gluten, then getting really sick. I know she did this once, eating pizza when I *know* there was definitely food in her kitchen that was 'safe'.

She was also *very* fit, running up to 10-15 miles per day, spending hours at the gym. She got up every morning at 4am to complete a specific workout routine before work, often failing to get enough sleep in order to 'do her workout'.

In my reading about BPD, I found many references to self-cutting behaviour and self-harm behaviour being linked to the activation of endorphins that would 'numb' the intense emotions of pwBPD. I always wondered if my partner's dedication - almost addiction - to excercise could be related to that

[Turkish]

My partner was celiac, so she wasn't supposed to eat anything with gluten. I'm gluten sensitive too, so this didn't bother me. I think she sometimes self-sabotaged, though, eating something with gluten or risk of gluten, then getting really sick. I know she did this once, eating pizza when I *know* there was definitely food in her kitchen that was 'safe'.

She was also *very* fit, running up to 10-15 miles per day, spending hours at the gym. She got up every morning at 4am to complete a specific workout routine before work, often failing to get enough sleep in order to 'do her workout'.

In my reading about BPD, I found many references to self-cutting behaviour and self-harm behaviour being linked to the activation of endorphins that would 'numb' the intense emotions of pwBPD. I always wondered if my partner's dedication - almost addiction - to excercise could be related to that

Mine feels MUCH better after a hard run. Ditto for sleeping. She still sleeps like a teenager, though she's in her early 30s. Me? I can survive on minimal sleep for days on end. Probably a difference in physiology, combined with willpower. I'm only in my early '40s, but sleeping my life away seems like a waste.

[musicfan42]

My BPD ex was a vegan! Avoided sugar, counted calories. Avoided gluten too. He seemed to eat the same thing all the time.

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

My BPD ex was a vegan! Avoided sugar, counted calories. Avoided gluten too. He seemed to eat the same thing all the time.

Mine started vegetarian, went vegan, then went gluten-free!  A therapist I talked to pondered that it had more to do with controlling something on the exterior because of what they can't control on the interior. 

I'm really glad I started this thread

[musicfan42]

My BPD ex was a vegan! Avoided sugar, counted calories. Avoided gluten too. He seemed to eat the same thing all the time.

Mine started vegetarian, went vegan, then went gluten-free!  A therapist I talked to pondered that it had more to do with controlling something on the exterior because of what they can't control on the interior. 

I'm really glad I started this thread

My BPD ex was a comfort eater years ago though. He was in an unhappy relationship, not getting enough sex (his words, not mine) so seemed to use food as a way to satiate his appetite... almost like a replacement for sex really. He has a very high sex drive! He then lost the weight, started dating someone new-getting lots more sex so he didn't seem to need food as a crutch as much. But I felt that he was trying to control the food by eliminating various food groups... . by saying "I've conquered this" to himself almost... acting like food was his enemy... that he'd never go back to how he had been before... heavier, comfort eating... that it just wasn't going to happen. He constantly talked about how he felt a healthy diet and exercise controlled his mood swings and made him feel better. It might have made him feel better but it didn't control his mood swings at all.

I felt that he talked about food too much. I remember him saying that he'd cook for me-that he'd make me a meal. But I remember him saying "Oh it's only 700 calories" and I was like "huh? 700 calories is a lot!" He had included food and wine in that so maybe it wasn't too bad...

I think that he may have cut out foods that he was binging on in the past like sugary foods and that's why he hated sugar etc so much.

He also had issues controlling his alcohol intake and tried to avoid alcohol. He also dabbled in recreational drugs. I think it would be fair to say that he had poor impulse control.

He was a healthy BMI- not too heavy, not too thin... just right but mentally, he had a lot of all or nothing thinking when it came to food.

I've read that anorexics are typically very controlled as people... usually have pushy parents who want them to succeed academically and anorexics are usually perfectionists/Type A personalities. I've read that some anorexics have alexithymia- that they can't seem to label and describe their emotions... not sure if it applies to all anorexics.

Bulimics and binge eaters seem to be more impulsive. I've read that bulimics feel such shame and guilt after binge eating that they just have to purge it... just get rid of it... but then after purging, they feel a sense of failure and so, the whole thing becomes a vicious cycle really. It seems to be common for anorexics to become bulimics after a while... that they just get hungry and need to eat more and then end up binging but can't stand feeling full/can't stand the thought of getting fat so they purge the food. I've read that binge eaters use food to numb their emotions.

What's common to all eating disorders though is the labeling of food into "good" and "bad" categories. Fruit, veg, lean protein will be called "good". Whereas high fat/high sugar foods will be labelled "bad". But it depends really. There's another eating disorder called orthorexia where the concern is about eating clean, pure food... organic, dairy free, gluten free etc... that they start panicking when they eat something "unclean" like packaged soup containing chemicals for example.

[arn131arn]

She sure does... .

Is an avid runner.  Runs maarathons, 1/2 marathons, and all the 5k runs around the city.

She eats the same thing everyday.

Breakfest: yogurt with otmeal and almonds

Lunch: turkey sandwich plain

dinner: Grilled chicken breast salad, then more grilled chicken breast salads, then when she's tired of that she goes and grills a ing chicken breast salad.  All you have to do to have sex with her is take her to dinner where they have a great grilled chicken breast salad.

Always at the gym and working out.  The vanity is sickening... .

When people at the playground tell her how crazy she is for running such long distances, she eats it up... . she loves the attention... . she admits laughingly that it's her addiction... . but she could have worse right?

[Johnny Alias]

Mine had the palatte of a 6 year old.  She loved mac and cheese and taco bell.  Didn't know how to cook hardly anything.  Then she vociferously HATED onions, peppers, and mushrooms.  Anything that was a little off the beaten path she would turn her nose up at it. 

She didn't eat beef of any kind which is not all bad.  Said it was healthier... . but then she'd pound a half bottle of vodka and smoke a half a pack of cigarettes so you tell me if that's healthy? 

[Mazda]

Mine was a fat teenager, went on a stupid diet (he claims anorexia) where he would eat one meal a week and an apple every two days the rest of the week.  He stopped going to school due to his body not being able to cope.  His enabling parents (dad is a doctor) sat and let it continue.  He idealizes his parents at the moment so never said a bad word against them (and if I ever did, would hang up the phone on me) but when I piece together the drabs of information I have on them and from what I know of his mother, she is a complete enabler, adds to his narcissism due to making her whole life revolve around him (she lives on a different continent from her husband, although they claim to still be together and didn't see each other for 3 years so has almost replaced her husband with him) and I would classify this as neglect.  what a twisted family.