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been tired and irritable
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Topic: been tired and irritable (Read 361 times)
irishmarmot
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 171
been tired and irritable
«
on:
January 10, 2014, 09:34:52 PM »
Hi, I have gone 7 days NC this week and it has been hard. I broke up with her last friday basically told her I couldn't take it any more. She texed me a couple of times but i have her blocked and i deleted my fb page. Been tired and irritable and from what I hear on this. board that is normal part of grieving. Saw my T today and feel so much better, reading the posts here I realized that the woman I fell in love with doesn't exist. It was a snare to get me hooked. I've been telling myself that all day and it helps when I get nostalgic for the idealization phase. So I am going to take one day at a time and the pain will end eventually. My ex used to talk about how the bottom would drop from underneath her. Now I know what she was talking about, a little I think.
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love4meNOTu
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 529
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #1 on:
January 10, 2014, 09:41:45 PM »
hey irish -
learned this the other day. Ruminations, depression, past crap... live in the left side of the brain. When we are depressed our "left side" takes over. So, in order to get into the present you do right brain activities. This includes things that use your five senses, like cooking, appreciating the nuances of a piece of art.
Yoga too. Exercises where you focus on feeling the air on your skin, hearing the world around you, are all right brained.
Give it a try, maybe it will help you get outta your left brain.
Hugs,
Lyn
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In the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus
SeekingAdviceinCa
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 185
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #2 on:
January 10, 2014, 09:47:33 PM »
Hang in there Irish. I'm on day 7 too and had a bit of a setback today. Just feeling depressed and irritable. I think lyn has some great advice so I'm going to do some right brain activities myself. Like head to the gym right now! And I'm telling myself as the thoughts pop in, "not now."
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irishmarmot
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 171
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #3 on:
January 10, 2014, 09:59:25 PM »
Thanks love4menotu and seeking, been meditating this week, and it helps. I walk at least 4 miles a day, however I do have depression and anxiety disorder so Its a little harder for me with the rumination and stuff. I was told to keep things positive and to remove negative thoughts. Its a hard thing to do but I will try tomorrow to say to myself, "you are going to be so much happier without her". I'll see how that goes.
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sadinnc98
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 256
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #4 on:
January 11, 2014, 11:13:07 AM »
Hang in there and I am proud of you for having the courage to do the break up and stick with it... I am not at that point even though I need to be! Try to stay busy and post here-we are all here for you!
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seeking balance
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 7146
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #5 on:
January 11, 2014, 11:39:27 AM »
Quote from: irishmarmot on January 10, 2014, 09:59:25 PM
Thanks love4menotu and seeking, been meditating this week, and it helps. I walk at least 4 miles a day.
You are ahead of the game in having these routines - both definitely make a difference.
Quote from: irishmarmot on January 10, 2014, 09:59:25 PM
however I do have depression and anxiety disorder so Its a little harder for me with the rumination and stuff. I was told to keep things positive and to remove negative thoughts. Its a hard thing to do but I will try tomorrow to say to myself, "you are going to be so much happier without her". I'll see how that goes.
Depression is normal after any breakup, these are especially tough to shake the ruminations. You know the phrase, "fake it til you make it" - this is true during this time - it does take time to balance out.
Maybe, give yourself permission to feel sad or negative, but continue to DO the things you know will help (even if it doesn't seem to be helping now). I have said before, it is this time you are in right now that we get a glimpse of what pwBPD live in all the time... . choose healthy actions over negative emotions right now.
Hang in there,
SB
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Faith does not grow in the house of certainty - The Shack
sun seeker
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 223
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #6 on:
January 11, 2014, 12:05:41 PM »
Congrats Irish! !
A week n/c is huge bro... . You're past the hardest hurdle. ( atleast it was for me) get yourself out and do things you may not want to go anyway. The joy of life will come back! I promise. Im in week 7 n/c , best freaking decision ive ever made. The constant over thinking , and what ifs , and talking to yourself will slow down , and then stop.
I wanted so bad to know what went on in a BPDers mind. I went on a forum for ppl who have BPD and it was an eye opener. Seeing how there thoughts process and what they actuall think and feel. (It honestly scared me)Made feel major relieve that I could have done nothing for or r/s to work. And helped me understand goining n/c was the ONLY option. They are effffin insane to thier core. And always will be. And we are lucky to get out with or lifes... . SERIOUSLY.
Keep up the hard work irish... . your doing awesome
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State85
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 304
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #7 on:
January 11, 2014, 12:09:24 PM »
It is difficult. Mine has stopped trying to contact me, which makes me wonder what she is up to. But the peace is oh so good... .
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BeHappyAgain
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 34
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #8 on:
January 11, 2014, 12:45:45 PM »
Hi Irishmarmot
Just a suggestion re your affirmation;
Excerpt
"you are going to be so much happier without her".
I've done courses involving affirmations, one was an NLP course and one was a weekend based on the ideas of Louise Hay [this was immensely helpful].
Anyway... . may I pass on something I learnt?
Make your affirmation;
Personal - so 'You' becomes 'I'
Current tense not future tense - so 'going to be' becomes 'am now'
and that you make it entirely positive [dropping the 'without her' bit] ?
So... .
"you are going to be so much happier without her"
becomes something like... .
"I am happy whole and complete
right now
"
I'm sorry if I'm sticking my nose in - but if your into affirmations [and it seems like you are]
then best to construct the highest octane ones !
There's tons online about affirmation constructions.
All the best to you
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BeHappyAgain
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 34
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #9 on:
January 11, 2014, 12:53:45 PM »
Oh and having said all that... .
I'd like to echo what SeekingBalance said above.
If your only 7 days out then you gotta allow the grieving process to occur too.
It can be horrible - but its as natural as rain!
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Free2Bee
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: 10 months NC with my exUBPD partner.
Posts: 115
Re: been tired and irritable
«
Reply #10 on:
January 11, 2014, 02:06:21 PM »
Hey Irish,
I'm 7 days into NC as well and I'm hurting a lot too. Last night was terrible - she usually stayed with me on weekends and Friday nights were the start of our time together. I missed her terribly and all of the stuff I loved about her came to mind last night as I sat alone in my empty apartment and ruminated. Yes, it gets easier, but that's tough consolation when the pain is still so fresh.
Doing better today - trying to keep busy with personal projects and stay in touch with friends.
Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and hope you're feeling better too. Hang in there, my friend. It only gets easier, right?
Kai
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