Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
June 30, 2024, 01:23:15 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
What do you think this means
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: What do you think this means (Read 421 times)
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12167
Dad to my wolf pack
What do you think this means
«
on:
January 12, 2014, 09:00:07 PM »
My buddy's dad is still FB friends with my x. He saw the photos of mess she posted after the burglary (I saw her doing it and was going to tell her not to, but she did it quickly... . gotta love those priorities!). That wasn't the weird thing. She titled it, "this is what happened to my kid's home." My buddy was going off on some hdden meaning. I could say she's mentally detached, but may it was just her being triggered by evil people entering the home where her kids live. If I were to do it, I would have said something like "this is what we found when we got home." Or similar. I don't know, maybe this post is a waste of bandwidth... .
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Perfidy
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #1 on:
January 12, 2014, 09:14:17 PM »
Turkish... Hi buddy. Hope things are calming down for you.
I listen to people very closely when they speak and read carefully when they write. I look for things like what tense statements are made in. It gives me insight into what the context is. Writing, because of lack of emotion, can be taken out of context easily. I see this all the time.
Knowing the person helps too. I will speculate on her caption. Kick me in the balls if you want.
She is further devaluing as a parent. Like you allowed the home to be unsecured and it's your fault.
?
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12167
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #2 on:
January 12, 2014, 09:38:52 PM »
Quote from: Perfidy on January 12, 2014, 09:14:17 PM
Turkish... Hi buddy. Hope things are calming down for you.
I listen to people very closely when they speak and read carefully when they write. I look for things like what tense statements are made in. It gives me insight into what the context is. Writing, because of lack of emotion, can be taken out of context easily. I see this all the time.
Knowing the person helps too. I will speculate on her caption. Kick me in the balls if you want.
She is further devaluing as a parent. Like you allowed the home to be unsecured and it's your fault.
?
That is interesting. maybe. after all, it's the " man's job" to do that... . as I heard in regard to just about everything else. I never figured out what her job was... . perhaps to support me in keeping everything together? * snort*
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
arn131arn
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 826
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #3 on:
January 12, 2014, 09:53:45 PM »
Quote from: Turkish on January 12, 2014, 09:38:52 PM
Quote from: Perfidy on January 12, 2014, 09:14:17 PM
Turkish... Hi buddy. Hope things are calming down for you.
I listen to people very closely when they speak and read carefully when they write. I look for things like what tense statements are made in. It gives me insight into what the context is. Writing, because of lack of emotion, can be taken out of context easily. I see this all the time.
Knowing the person helps too. I will speculate on her caption. Kick me in the balls if you want.
She is further devaluing as a parent. Like you allowed the home to be unsecured and it's your fault.
?
That is interesting. maybe. after all, it's the " man's job" to do that... . as I heard in regard to just about everything else. I never figured out what her job was... . perhaps to support me in keeping everything together? * snort*
Turk,
I got that all the time, as well. Then the second you become that "man", she emasculates you.
G
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12167
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #4 on:
January 12, 2014, 10:09:55 PM »
Quote from: arn131arn on January 12, 2014, 09:53:45 PM
Quote from: Turkish on January 12, 2014, 09:38:52 PM
Quote from: Perfidy on January 12, 2014, 09:14:17 PM
Turkish... Hi buddy. Hope things are calming down for you.
I listen to people very closely when they speak and read carefully when they write. I look for things like what tense statements are made in. It gives me insight into what the context is. Writing, because of lack of emotion, can be taken out of context easily. I see this all the time.
Knowing the person helps too. I will speculate on her caption. Kick me in the balls if you want.
She is further devaluing as a parent. Like you allowed the home to be unsecured and it's your fault.
?
That is interesting. maybe. after all, it's the " man's job" to do that... . as I heard in regard to just about everything else. I never figured out what her job was... . perhaps to support me in keeping everything together? * snort*
Turk,
I got that all the time, as well. Then the second you become that "man", she emasculates you.
G
Drove me nuts. Old World gender roles mixed with American Liberal Feminism (she's an immigrant). Whatever I did often turned out wrong. She did says he appreciate stuff I did often enough that I just ended up confused. Never could figure out what her role was. Shell never have to find that out since she made herself sterile. And damn me if this might not be my one "mature" r/s too since I'm middle aged and have no desire for more kids.
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Perfidy
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #5 on:
January 12, 2014, 10:31:34 PM »
Turkish... I'm with you on that relationship comment. I have a plan. I'm inoculating my self from the poison sting of the borderline. Now I'm hunting them and using them for sport. As long as I am aware and don't get attached I'm safe. Three condoms.
Logged
santa
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 725
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #6 on:
January 12, 2014, 10:32:52 PM »
It's:
1) A jab at you
2) A reach out for pity
3) An attempt to vilify you to others
Logged
santa
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 725
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #7 on:
January 12, 2014, 10:34:04 PM »
Quote from: Perfidy on January 12, 2014, 10:31:34 PM
Turkish... I'm with you on that relationship comment. I have a plan. I'm inoculating my self from the poison sting of the borderline.
Now I'm hunting them and using them for sport
. As long as I am aware and don't get attached I'm safe. Three condoms.
LMAO
Logged
fiddlestix
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 210
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #8 on:
January 12, 2014, 11:06:24 PM »
Or, she may simply want the attention/sympathy from everyone. After all, she IS a victim in life, right? Now, even her kid's house has been victimized.
My borderline craved attention. Perhaps yours does too, Turkish.
Fiddle
Logged
Ironmanrises
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1774
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #9 on:
January 12, 2014, 11:18:19 PM »
Quote from: Turkish on January 12, 2014, 09:00:07 PM
My buddy's dad is still FB friends with my x. He saw the photos of mess she posted after the burglary (I saw her doing it and was going to tell her not to, but she did it quickly... . gotta love those priorities!). That wasn't the weird thing. She titled it, "
this is what happened to my kid's home
." My buddy was going off on some hdden meaning. I could say she's mentally detached, but may it was just her being triggered by evil people entering the home where her kids live. If I were to do it, I would have said something like "this is what we found when we got home." Or similar. I don't know, maybe this post is a waste of bandwidth... .
Turkish,
It comes across as a swipe at you hidden between the words. Almost as if she is saying "look at what
you
allowed to happen to my kids home" but subtly and craftily worded so the jagged edges are sharp
and
dull; hidden behind the veil of ambiguity that reflects the contradictory nature of a pwBPD. My exUBPDgf in round 2 devaluation, while on my birthday, in those last few horrific days I spent in her house, took pictures of the restaurant I took her and her 2 sons too. As a final slap in my face, she would later post those pics, on her social media, minus me(remember it was my birthday) and title the pics, which included her sons, "Look at my son eating food at a place I took him to," No mention at all of me. No mention at all that I took them to that place. And that I paid for all of that. On my birthday. I don't know if you can see the similarity to your situation, but it is what I thought of when I read your post. I wanted to throw my iphone against a wall that day I saw those pics and what she wrote and how I was missing from the pics.
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12167
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #10 on:
January 12, 2014, 11:25:23 PM »
Quote from: fiddlestix on January 12, 2014, 11:06:24 PM
Or, she may simply want the attention/sympathy from everyone. After all, she IS a victim in life, right? Now, even her kid's house has been victimized.
My borderline craved attention. Perhaps yours does too, Turkish.
Fiddle
Oh yes, she does! The public validation. Strange for a girl with social anxiety and the like. I think if it were a jab, she would have written more. Perhaps her boy toy, the tough guy, was all "id protect you baby! I heard something second hand from someone in the local bouncer community about this fake tough guy they worked with once. May have been his name, since its an uncommon one.
As for Perfidy's comment... . she DID jab me in front of the cop. He found my "batman utility belt" in the closet and asked if I worked security. I told him I had it for the training classes I had taken. He replied, "oh yeah, you told me that earlier, I forgot." He asked her if she had access to the fitearms. She said no. I said i would have if she had taken training. My X said something like " I'm a better shot than him anyway." Whatever. I let it go. In my last class I put 3" grouped, accurate double taps as I was moving through a field of targets. I also practice single weak hand too (my groups are tight, but my targetting is off... . would work on that but no $$ now). Oh, no, its not like I was trained by the protege of the guy who invented Defensive Handgun Use technique or anything, the foundation for training used around the world for civilians, law enfrcement and military. No, except fr the one incident where she ealked by and smacked me, and the few throwing/breaking things ijncidents, she generally isn't violent. I locked them up to preclude possible accidents.
She doesn't have a clue... . anything to jab me. In retrospect, she'd often make joking/devaluing comments like that, like we were an old married couple. I thought it was normal. Now I haven't a clue what normal is!
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12167
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #11 on:
January 12, 2014, 11:29:41 PM »
Quote from: Ironmanfalls on January 12, 2014, 11:18:19 PM
Quote from: Turkish on January 12, 2014, 09:00:07 PM
My buddy's dad is still FB friends with my x. He saw the photos of mess she posted after the burglary (I saw her doing it and was going to tell her not to, but she did it quickly... . gotta love those priorities!). That wasn't the weird thing. She titled it, "
this is what happened to my kid's home
." My buddy was going off on some hdden meaning. I could say she's mentally detached, but may it was just her being triggered by evil people entering the home where her kids live. If I were to do it, I would have said something like "this is what we found when we got home." Or similar. I don't know, maybe this post is a waste of bandwidth... .
Turkish,
It comes across as a swipe at you hidden between the words. Almost as if she is saying "look at what
you
allowed to happen to my kids home" but subtly and craftily worded so the jagged edges are sharp
and
dull; hidden behind the veil of ambiguity that reflects the contradictory nature of a pwBPD. My exUBPDgf in round 2 devaluation, while on my birthday, in those last few horrific days I spent in her house, took pictures of the restaurant I took her and her 2 sons too. As a final slap in my face, she would later post those pics, on her social media, minus me(remember it was my birthday) and title the pics, which included her sons, "Look at my son eating food at a place I took him to," No mention at all of me. No mention at all that I took them to that place. And that I paid for all of that. On my birthday. I don't know if you can see the similarity to your situation, but it is what I thought of when I read your post. I wanted to throw my iphone against a wall that day I saw those pics and what she wrote and how I was missing from the pics.
That's horrible, Ironman, you couldn't write a better villain for a story. A villain with BPD powers... . world beware!
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Ironmanrises
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1774
Re: What do you think this means
«
Reply #12 on:
January 12, 2014, 11:33:14 PM »
Quote from: Turkish on January 12, 2014, 11:29:41 PM
Quote from: Ironmanfalls on January 12, 2014, 11:18:19 PM
Quote from: Turkish on January 12, 2014, 09:00:07 PM
My buddy's dad is still FB friends with my x. He saw the photos of mess she posted after the burglary (I saw her doing it and was going to tell her not to, but she did it quickly... . gotta love those priorities!). That wasn't the weird thing. She titled it, "
this is what happened to my kid's home
." My buddy was going off on some hdden meaning. I could say she's mentally detached, but may it was just her being triggered by evil people entering the home where her kids live. If I were to do it, I would have said something like "this is what we found when we got home." Or similar. I don't know, maybe this post is a waste of bandwidth... .
Turkish,
It comes across as a swipe at you hidden between the words. Almost as if she is saying "look at what
you
allowed to happen to my kids home" but subtly and craftily worded so the jagged edges are sharp
and
dull; hidden behind the veil of ambiguity that reflects the contradictory nature of a pwBPD. My exUBPDgf in round 2 devaluation, while on my birthday, in those last few horrific days I spent in her house, took pictures of the restaurant I took her and her 2 sons too. As a final slap in my face, she would later post those pics, on her social media, minus me(remember it was my birthday) and title the pics, which included her sons, "Look at my son eating food at a place I took him to," No mention at all of me. No mention at all that I took them to that place. And that I paid for all of that. On my birthday. I don't know if you can see the similarity to your situation, but it is what I thought of when I read your post. I wanted to throw my iphone against a wall that day I saw those pics and what she wrote and how I was missing from the pics.
That's horrible, Ironman, you couldn't write a better villain for a story. A villain with BPD powers... . world beware!
What is truly scary, is she is a real person. Out there. Possibly hurting some other guy, like me.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
What do you think this means
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...