"take the punch" be free

[Soulsisters]

I know this is not what anyone wants to hear.

I just had dinner with some new aquaintances.  One of them was a divorce attorney.  He was curious about what happened to me, he was horrified.  He told me a number of things that I should have done differently.  Verbal/emotional abuse is against the law, it is just very few attorneys think that they can win using verbal/emotional abuse as a punitive punishment. 

He told me what I should have done to give the attorney enough ammunition in court if he was to use verbal/emotional abuse against spouse.  #1.  Need a close friend or family member who has witnessed this, and willing to testify.

[Soulsisters]

oops... . this may be posted in two pieces.  sorry

#2 keep all texts, emails, and anything that could pose as a threat. 

#3 .a therapist who would be willing to testify against your x

#4  get a restraining order, for you do not know how ugly it can get, then at least it is on record.

I actually had a letter that my x wrote to me when he was begging for me to come back that I never thought much of.  I had it filed away and I had him read it.  My x admitted to he mistreatment towards me for at least 10 years. 

The attorney shook his head, for my divorce is final.  He said "this should have been enough" 

If I had the right attorney and showed him my letter I may still have my children.  There are laws against  our treatment.  it is sad that they are seldom used.

The last thing he said to me was "next time, take the punch.  you will not hurt  so much."

[Tolou]

Wow!

that's deep and they say hind sight is 20-20... . I also thought to myself, I wihc i had the texts, voicemails and emails etc... . when my ex was painting me black at work, however part of me moving forward was changing my number... . erasing everything there was to remind me of her so I can move forward, and it helped.  Luckily, I got out fast because I noticed something was wrong, but I have to see this person every day at work, a 24/7 reminder of the horror show that took place... . But I have maintained no contact for almost 7 months... .

You have children and were married, that is so much more difficult?  I feel for you, when we look back there are so many things we could have done differently.  But this how we need to learn and grow... . doesn't make it... .