Funniest/Stupidest Thing BPD Did?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hey Everyone,

This incident helped me detach for a day.  I am not sure if it will be as funny if you weren't there to see it but here it goes.  My BPDex had been watching a tv show called Once Upon a Time.  For those of you that haven't seen it, its a series based on all the Disney fairy-tales integrated into one story-line.  She had a head start on the series but went back to the beginning so I could catch up.  I was kind of on the fence about it, just couldn't really get wrapped up in it.  So when she watched it I would kind of play on my phone and watch it in the background.  So to punish me for not liking it as much as her we didn't see each other for a night.

Well the weekend came around and we were at a bar with her best friend having a few drinks (she turned into the drunk devil.)  The bar was fairly empty, maybe about 20 people with two bartenders working.  Our first bartender had been nice got our drinks and went to the other side of the bar.  The other bartender helped us the rest of the night.  When we were about to leave the BPDex started yelling at the other bartender for not getting our drinks, saying we had to wait for drinks and his service was horrible and he shouldn't get a tip.  None of this was true, we had a drinks whenever we wanted, guess she felt abandoned by him ha ha.  She laced into this poor guy for about five minutes and really caused a scene.

After going outside, I couldn't leave the situation as was.  I went back into to apologize to the bartender.  He asked me what was wrong with her?  I apologized and said your service was great, she is just an angry person.  The bartender was fuming and didn't really care for my apology and asked that she never come back.  I as I come back outside there is my BPDex standing on the sidewalk.  She says in slow drunk voice "look everyone, I am going to cast a spell!  She was waving her hands in the air as if something was supposed to happen.  I laughed so hard.

Anyone else have a story?

[NoCRV]

Hey Everyone,

This incident helped me detach for a day.  I am not sure if it will be as funny if you weren't there to see it but here it goes.  My BPDex had been watching a tv show called Once Upon a Time.  For those of you that haven't seen it, its a series based on all the Disney fairy-tales integrated into one story-line.  She had a head start on the series but went back to the beginning so I could catch up.  I was kind of on the fence about it, just couldn't really get wrapped up in it.  So when she watched it I would kind of play on my phone and watch it in the background.  So to punish me for not liking it as much as her we didn't see each other for a night.

Well the weekend came around and we were at a bar with her best friend having a few drinks (she turned into the drunk devil.)  The bar was fairly empty, maybe about 20 people with two bartenders working.  Our first bartender had been nice got our drinks and went to the other side of the bar.  The other bartender helped us the rest of the night.  When we were about to leave the BPDex started yelling at the other bartender for not getting our drinks, saying we had to wait for drinks and his service was horrible and he shouldn't get a tip.  None of this was true, we had a drinks whenever we wanted, guess she felt abandoned by him ha ha.  She laced into this poor guy for about five minutes and really caused a scene.

After going outside, I couldn't leave the situation as was.  I went back into to apologize to the bartender.  He asked me what was wrong with her?  I apologized and said your service was great, she is just an angry person.  The bartender was fuming and didn't really care for my apology and asked that she never come back.  I as I come back outside there is my BPDex standing on the sidewalk.  She says in slow drunk voice "look everyone, I am going to cast a spell!  She was waving her hands in the air as if something was supposed to happen.  I laughed so hard.

Anyone else have a story?

[santa]

I had mine sent to a mental institution one night because she was acting crazy. She got caught crawling down a hallway trying to escape. Lol. They let her out the next morning when she sobered up and she came back and keyed my car.

[Moonie75]

My ex had her car for sale outside my house. She had one of her ex's take the car & hide it at his family workshop.

She then accused me of removing the car & went into full rage down the phone at me about being spiteful & threatened to report me for theft.

So, I calmly called the police & reported my partners car stolen & that she didn't know where it was.

Soon as police contacted her about the matter she folded & spewed everything about asking the ex to take it. They were both cautioned for wasting police time.

It took her disordered mind 6 months to find a way of twisting the whole thing round to being my fault & her the victim... . She got there though I'll give her that!  

[NoCRV]

Ha ha sorry to hear about your car getting keyed Santa.  I wonder if she did the stealth crawl to do it.

[santa]

Ha ha sorry to hear about your car getting keyed Santa.  I wonder if she did the stealth crawl to do it.

LOL

She may have. She did a hell of a good job though. Got every panel. I really liked that car too. 

[Moonie75]

Ha ha sorry to hear about your car getting keyed Santa.  I wonder if she did the stealth crawl to do it.

LOL

She may have. She did a hell of a good job though. Got every panel. I really liked that car too. 

And she knew it!

She knew everything about you & how you tick!


Pure evil!

[Moonie75]

I meant her!

Not you Santa!

Heavens above I just read that back & thought "Ooh my gosh, good heavens!"

[santa]

Ha ha sorry to hear about your car getting keyed Santa.  I wonder if she did the stealth crawl to do it.

LOL

She may have. She did a hell of a good job though. Got every panel. I really liked that car too. 

And she knew it!

She knew everything about you & how you tick!


Pure evil!

Haha. Yeah, she thinks she does. Maybe that's exactly what I want her to think though. Maybe I've been setting her up this whole time. Maybe it's time ole Santa pulls a paradigm shift on her. Think I give a damn about you, b-tch? Think again! Go ahead and be all the crazy you want. I couldn't care less about anything you do or say.

 

[Waifed]

Stupidest - Cheated

Funniest - Said (In her mind) that I slept with another girl at our office BEFORE we even dated and acted like that was a fair trade off for cheating (three years after i allegedly slept with this girl).  Freaking nuts.

[Moonie75]

Stupidest - Cheated

Funniest - Said (In her mind) that I slept with another girl at our office BEFORE we even dated and acted like that was a fair trade off for cheating (three years after i allegedly slept with this girl).  Freaking nuts.

Mine forbid me from going into a rather nice little pub near by unless she was with me.

This was because a blonde barmaid served us drinks in there one night!

My partner prior to BPDex was blonde & that meant I must fancy the barmaid & struggle with my desires f**k her senseless!

[DownandOut]

I know this is a little off topic, but it appears that pwBPD love the fantasy genre no matter what their age is. My uBPDexgf is in her later twenties and is obsessed, OBSESSED with young-adult fiction books involving vampires, zombies and other nonsense. I actually used to tease her about it when things were good.  When we went on vacation she would read far-fetched fantasy-adventure novels and I would read novels that actually made you think, stories with well-developed characters that had depth in their personalities and relationships with other characters (she wasn't interested in that). I know it sounds condescending to some extent, and I'm not saying that getting immersed in a good fantasy novel isn't a nice escape from reality every once in a while, but she ONLY read those types of books. One of the things I loved about her was that she actually did read, but her choice of books always made me laugh, especially for a professional women in her late-20s. 

Also, one of her favorite questions for me was "if you could have a superpower, what would it be?" I mean, good question for a first date or something to bring up when the time is appropriate (maybe watching a superhero movie), but she was preoccupied with superheros and having a super power. Anyone else have similar experiences?

I bring it up because NoCRV's post got me thinking. Interesting thing to consider. Maybe I'll start a thread about the topic.

[MrFox]

Early in the relationship she claimed that she may need a hysterectomy because of medical issues.  She also told me she couldn't get pregnant and asked would I want to be with someone who couldn't have a kid with me.  She already has a daughter from a former marriage and I figured if we decided we wanted another child we could possibly adopt (the idea of raising a child with her now makes me shutter).

Now she is telling people that I DIDN"T want kids and had her convinced to get a hysterectomy.  The problem with that is no doctor that wanted to keep their license does elective hysterectomies.  It's only if there is a medical reason to do so.  That has to be the stupidest.  Even stupider is that some people (like my replacement) have bought it.

The funniest thing is related.  She insisted on getting two rabbits, a male and a female, she then named them after these pet names we had for each other.  After she broke up with me she posted a picture on FB  of the male rabbit and made it clear that she had renamed him.  I know it was suppose to hurt me but it actually just made me laugh.  It's like a child renaming a toy to get back at someone.

[Tincup]

She told me that her ex husband liked money more than he liked her because he spent money and bought nice things...

She told me I liked money more then I liked her because I saved money and invested...

She had money issues and was in debt...

But the funniest was accusing me of making her dog uncomfortable and self conscious because I laughed at it.  I got painted black because the dog ate cat poop... . and I loved this lady?

[Moonie75]

Tincup,

That gem about you making her dog self conscious is gonna have me laugh myself to sleep tonight!

Thank you!   

[State85]

For you guys that love football, you will like this. I hardly ever watched football with her... . couldn't, wasn't going to, if ya follow me... . cause I love watching it and she doesn't.

One time while watching a game she actually asked me how that yellow line on the field kept moving. Guys, you know the line the station puts where the first down is, she couldn't grasp that the station was doing that, that it was not ACTUALLY on the field.

I really think she was serious

[NoCRV]

Downandout I wish my BPDex would have read but chances are the book would have done something to upset her. She did like to color though.  I had a different ex that enjoyed it as well said she found it relaxing.  I think it could be just an inner child thing or an artistic thing .  I know they are emotionally stunted but for me there would have to be a lot more than a couple of things to draw a correlation between the two.

[Turkish]

I'll leave out the idiotic things she's been posting on FB since she left me (while still living in my house, conducting some kind of affair with "Her Love" as she calls him)... .

I've told this story before, but I still find it funny: near the beginning of our r/s, we were on our way to a hotel downtown. I missed that the large hotel had one entrance in a back alley. The main entrance was on the main street. From the way we were coming, it was easy to miss... . I didn't print out the written directions, like a man, I guess, but hey, I still got us to the hotel. She had to pee really bad. I had to go down about a mile and a half due to the one-way streets and no u-turns allowed that time of day. By the time we got there, she was fuming. Her first real rage (this was before we moved in together).

I checked in, I got the raging silent treatment. Got up the hotel room and she let me have it. I told her that since we were with another couple (my friends), I was going to go to the concert event, then I would certainly be happy to drive her all the way back home (an hour), after which I was going to come back and spend the next day in the city with my friends, as was the original plan. So I left her there in the hotel room. Went to dinner. My friends asked where she was and I explained. They said sorry that happened. By the time we were done with dinner... . I get the text. I said we were going to the event. She caught up with us on the street, still mad. Went into the show. She moved through the crowd to the front of the stage. I kept an eye on her, but didn't follow. She later told me that she had wanted me to follow her.

Afterwards, we bid goodnight to my friends. I told her why don't we go to an all night diner and talk about it,. which we did. She admitted to having anger issues, and that it had always caused problems with her family, too. Calmed down. Back to the hotel, much crying, great make-up sex and things were good. She apologized to my friends the next day. To this day, my buddy's wife thought that whole thing was ridiculous, because her husband did the same thing, missed the entrance and lost 15 mins back tracking to the other entrance. No big deal to her, but then she loves her husband.

The second half of the story... . we did talk about directions and such, so I made it a point to print out everything, even if it was obvious (one wonders what people did before the internet... . read a map, or figure it out?). We were on our way to a county park. She was driving this time, with printed directions. We got to the place and passed by the sign (I had glanced at a map at home, so I knew it was easy to get to). I said, "we just passed it, there was the sign." She replied, "I'm following the directions, they say to go here and make a u-turn, then another left turn." If you are a visual person, she just described going back to the point we had just passed. I smiled to myself and knew better than to comment, but that's just what it was. She was so insistent on being "right" that common sense flew out the window.

So, to those of us who think our relationships can be processed by logical conversation, remember that they are disordered, and when the disorder takes over, it's arguing with a software program written in CHAOS. It's frustrating and futile.

[phantom17]

Funny: apparently I talk, and title, and laugh in my sleep. Woke me in the middle of the night to ask who I was talking to. Was mad the entire next day because apparently i was giggling and cheating on her with some unknown woman in my dreams.

Scariest: broke up with me. I gave no resistance. Just went home bbq'd chicken and drank beer. Some up at 3 am with her silhouette staring at me in the doorway. She had a key, however the door was chain bolted. She used her tiny little hands to undo the chain from outside and waltzed on in. After I freaked the F out... . she took my phone, ran out the door, and drove off to read my text messages... . came back, broke back in my house and started breaking dishes on the floor... .

What a fkn roller coaster.

[santa]

For you guys that love football, you will like this. I hardly ever watched football with her... . couldn't, wasn't going to, if ya follow me... . cause I love watching it and she doesn't.

One time while watching a game she actually asked me how that yellow line on the field kept moving. Guys, you know the line the station puts where the first down is, she couldn't grasp that the station was doing that, that it was not ACTUALLY on the field.

I really think she was serious

LOL

The guy that invented the yellow line must be a real pimp. Women will never figure that one out.

[phantom17]

We really need an edit button on this forum... .

*woke up at 3am with her standing in the doorway of my bedroom

*talk, laugh, giggle in my sleep

[Turkish]

Stupidest - Cheated

You are right, Waifed. I just think it cruel, but it's stupid. Like yours, mine threw away the best man she ever had (I know this for sure because I know her history), and will likely ever have. The only one with whom she will have kids (but hey, she got a great father... . what she "needed". Our, now my, T said that I could even say this to her. I actually did in the argument the other night, but we were both stressed out and triggering each other and it was pointless.

Regarding that, the kid she's with is pretty stupid, too. Like the complete opposite of me: a grown up, self-made, professional, emotionally ordered, MATURE... . because I was a heck of a lot more mature even at his age... . heck, she was too, at least on the outside. He even has stupid nicknames for himself on social media. Really, really dumb. Like her, someone who thinks they are much smarter than they really are, though I'd put her above him any way. To anyone looking outside and not seeing the underlying mental issues, the match is an embarrassment. For her.

[phantom17]

Maaann... there are so many... . here's one more... . the last parting blow... .

As she broke up with me, she said (via text), and I quote: "I will not waste any more time with you just to have you leave me for someone better. Its not gonna happen"... .

She said this as she was literally walking into another man's arms.

This was 6 months ago. They got married last weekend 

[Waifed]

Stupidest - Cheated

You are right, Waifed. I just think it cruel, but it's stupid. Like yours, mine threw away the best man she ever had (I know this for sure because I know her history), and will likely ever have. The only one with whom she will have kids (but hey, she got a great father... . what she "needed". Our, now my, T said that I could even say this to her. I actually did in the argument the other night, but we were both stressed out and triggering each other and it was pointless.

Regarding that, the kid she's with is pretty stupid, too. Like the complete opposite of me: a grown up, self-made, professional, emotionally ordered, MATURE... . because I was a heck of a lot more mature even at his age... . heck, she was too, at least on the outside. He even has stupid nicknames for himself on social media. Really, really dumb. Like her, someone who thinks they are much smarter than they really are, though I'd put her above him any way. To anyone looking outside and not seeing the underlying mental issues, the match is an embarrassment. For her.

Yeah,

It is the lack of self respect for themselves that just blows me away.  They are so damaged that nothing registers in their head but that perceived high they get from someone new who gives them attention.  Chasing that feeling of new love that will forever escape them.  They do not seem to care about the damage it does to themselves or others.  It really is nuts. I wonder if they ever realize what they have done and actually have regrets?

[Turkish]

Stupidest - Cheated

You are right, Waifed. I just think it cruel, but it's stupid. Like yours, mine threw away the best man she ever had (I know this for sure because I know her history), and will likely ever have. The only one with whom she will have kids (but hey, she got a great father... . what she "needed". Our, now my, T said that I could even say this to her. I actually did in the argument the other night, but we were both stressed out and triggering each other and it was pointless.

Regarding that, the kid she's with is pretty stupid, too. Like the complete opposite of me: a grown up, self-made, professional, emotionally ordered, MATURE... . because I was a heck of a lot more mature even at his age... . heck, she was too, at least on the outside. He even has stupid nicknames for himself on social media. Really, really dumb. Like her, someone who thinks they are much smarter than they really are, though I'd put her above him any way. To anyone looking outside and not seeing the underlying mental issues, the match is an embarrassment. For her.

Yeah,

It is the lack of self respect for themselves that just blows me away.  They are so damaged that nothing registers in their head but that perceived high they get from someone new who gives them attention.  Chasing that feeling of new love that will forever escape them.  They do not seem to care about the damage it does to themselves or others.  It really is nuts. I wonder if they ever realize what they have done and actually have regrets?

Mine does... .   then the disorder takes over and she doesn't.  she's said, " maybe this had to happen... . "  as if they have no choice.  in a way, I  don't think they do.  the longer it goes on,  the more I see her and S4  the same. I  get the feeling that when my son says he is sorry,  he actually means it.  he's maturing,  she is not. I  don't think we can ever make sense of them.

[delusionalxox]

the stupidest thing he did was cheating 2 weeks after our 'dream' holiday and letting one of his facebook-happy friends post pictures of him and his new girlfriend out at a restaurant (tagged, with comments). He had blocked me from FB long before, but the friend's photos were public.

The funniest thing he ever did was to go into my email to find out evidence of my supposed affairs and infidelities (projection, anyone?  ). He found a message from a friend of mine who wanted me to put up her boyfriend for a night as he was travelling to the UK. She made a joke about him being Jewish and circumcised (odd sense of humour in general).

Ex took this as hard evidence that I had made a 'random sex appointment' with this man and proceeded to sneer at me, 'enjoy your Jewish guy', proclaiming that he had 'found out all about me' and I was (of course) disgusting, etc. I had to laugh.  

[LilMissSunshine]

For you guys that love football, you will like this. I hardly ever watched football with her... . couldn't, wasn't going to, if ya follow me... . cause I love watching it and she doesn't.

One time while watching a game she actually asked me how that yellow line on the field kept moving. Guys, you know the line the station puts where the first down is, she couldn't grasp that the station was doing that, that it was not ACTUALLY on the field.

I really think she was serious

LOL

The guy that invented the yellow line must be a real pimp. Women will never figure that one out.

Yikes guys... . slow it down.  I completely understand football.  My oldest son played Varsity Safety his soph, jr. sr. year of HS.  He also was the starting QB Jr. & Sr. year.  However, he was recruited to play baseball in college.  Earned a gold glove award for CF both jr. & sr. year.  Team played in the NCAA WS his senior year but lost in the championship game.  His dad (not my exBPDbf) played pro baseball.  I know my sports dudes.  In fact, football triggers my PTSD because my exBPDbf and I enjoyed watching it together.

GO PATS. HEE HEE.

[LilMissSunshine]

Anyhow, the funniest/stupidest thing my exBPDbf ever did?  To take pics of me, while I slept, declaring I even slept wrong cuz sometimes I'd stick my foot outside the blankets.       

[State85]

For you guys that love football, you will like this. I hardly ever watched football with her... . couldn't, wasn't going to, if ya follow me... . cause I love watching it and she doesn't.

One time while watching a game she actually asked me how that yellow line on the field kept moving. Guys, you know the line the station puts where the first down is, she couldn't grasp that the station was doing that, that it was not ACTUALLY on the field.

I really think she was serious

LOL

The guy that invented the yellow line must be a real pimp. Women will never figure that one out.

Yikes guys... . slow it down!  I completely understand football!  My oldest son played Varsity Safety his soph, jr. sr. year of HS.  He also was the starting QB Jr. & Sr. year.  However, he was recruited to play baseball in college.  Earned a gold glove award for CF both jr. & sr. year.  Team played in the NCAA WS his senior year but lost in the championship game.  His dad (not my exBPDbf) played pro baseball.  I know my sports dudes!  In fact, football triggers my PTSD because my exBPDbf and I enjoyed watching it together.

GO PATS! HEE HEE!

No disrespect Sunshine... . Niners!

[Waifed]

Stupidest - Cheated

You are right, Waifed. I just think it cruel, but it's stupid. Like yours, mine threw away the best man she ever had (I know this for sure because I know her history), and will likely ever have. The only one with whom she will have kids (but hey, she got a great father... . what she "needed". Our, now my, T said that I could even say this to her. I actually did in the argument the other night, but we were both stressed out and triggering each other and it was pointless.

Regarding that, the kid she's with is pretty stupid, too. Like the complete opposite of me: a grown up, self-made, professional, emotionally ordered, MATURE... . because I was a heck of a lot more mature even at his age... . heck, she was too, at least on the outside. He even has stupid nicknames for himself on social media. Really, really dumb. Like her, someone who thinks they are much smarter than they really are, though I'd put her above him any way. To anyone looking outside and not seeing the underlying mental issues, the match is an embarrassment. For her.

Yeah,

It is the lack of self respect for themselves that just blows me away.  They are so damaged that nothing registers in their head but that perceived high they get from someone new who gives them attention.  Chasing that feeling of new love that will forever escape them.  They do not seem to care about the damage it does to themselves or others.  It really is nuts. I wonder if they ever realize what they have done and actually have regrets?

Mine does... .   then the disorder takes over and she doesn't.  she's said, " maybe this had to happen... . "  as if they have no choice.  in a way, I  don't think they do.  the longer it goes on,  the more I see her and S4  the same. I  get the feeling that when my son says he is sorry,  he actually means it.  he's maturing,  she is not. I  don't think we can ever make sense of them.

I would tell mine after she cheated "you had life in the palm of your hands. I would have loved you and taken care of you. I would have taken care of your family. You could have enjoyed life and done anything you wanted".  She never cried but would cling on tighter to me. I truly don't know if she cared or not. I have no idea what motivates her. She is other peoples problem now.

[sun seeker]

  Let seee... .

One day after we had bed breaking sex. (We broke 4 bed frames in 11 months)

she said "we have to talk, i know you have been cheating on me . I found this gem stone in your bed" she shows me the stone.

I said what!  are you kidding!.  " I have never cheated in my life"  she started to get upset and got louder and tearing.

That when i looked at her belly ring and pointed out it was mising that stone...

Then she oh  i was just kidding. Bull ___.

Her face told it all she felt so dam stupid.  Lol

Like I always say you can only trust someone as much as you trust yourself!