Two weeks of disengaging and doing well

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Hey everyone. Just thought I'd update.

I'm on two weeks of trying no contact and disengaging. It's going really well this week!  Last week was hard but I must say this week has been noticeably easier. I had to text with her a little this week because of a family illness but it was very brief and to the point.

I have not had nearly the amount of obsessive thoughts this week nor have I felt as depressed. It does get easier with time... . we just have to give ourselves plenty of it.

[Moonie75]

Good on ya!

I'm four & a half weeks & never thought I'd make it if I'm honest. Have done it before but felt weaker this time. Don't now though, it's almost empowering.

You'll feel better & better week by week. It's lonely, but the loneliness has a liberation within it (that's my own experience anyway).

Do you do it as a daily, weekly challenge or have you just thrown the gauntlet down with yourself and said 'forever'?

'Forever' was too big a mountain to face for me so I go Sunday to Sunday. Then in time it'll become month to month until, well, I just stop thinking about a target & 'forever' is comfortably in place.

Well done to you though. First weeks are definitely hardest.

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Hi Moonie,

Good on you for 4 and 1/2 weeks!  That's great. It does feel very empowering. I definitely agree with you on the loneliness. That's really difficult. But I've been exercising a lot this week and that feels good.

Right now I'm just going day to day. I figure small victories are the easiest and I'll build from there. But I definitely do feel better and different. Almost like reality is setting in and I'm more accepting of the change.  Some days are definitely harder than others but I'm finding the points where I feel low and depressed are shorter in duration. 

[Moonie75]

Thank you.

Yep, it's a real weird road to navigate.

There's dark foggy bumpy stretches, and there's wide open sunny stretches where you can see for miles and miles.

But we're on the right road for sure. The road to emotional freedom, without obligation to head back to where we came from!

Enjoy your journey man. 

[MrConfused]

I didn't believe people when they said that time would help but it does. You eventually stop worrying about things that you can't fix, get fed up of overthinking the "what ifs" and you make peace with the way you/they acted.

I do think about her daily still, but it's more of a brief fleeting moment rather than an obsession which it was before. It's incredibly liberating as she was all I thought about for a long time & it's unusual for me to not be doing so anymore. It is like a fog clearing in my head.

[RecycledNoMore]

SA, Im so pleased to hear your doing well!

Remember...

It gets better!

Then it might get worse( but thats ok!)

Then youl find, one sweet day

That better is the norm

And worse, falls by the wayside:)

Huggs SA