Pets

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Well, a way from focusing off THEM for once. How many of you in your fallouts from BPD rels. have acquired pets or turned to pets, dogs, cats for comfort? I just acquired a cat yesterday. Wow, she gives 100 per cent affection, it really helps. Therapy comes from many sources, my step to get a cat was something, ironically, I could have never done in the context of the relationship since she disliked (? we were never a match then, me a cat-lover) them and was also allergic to them.

[allweareisallweare]

Well, a way from focusing off THEM for once. How many of you in your fallouts from BPD rels. have acquired pets or turned to pets, dogs, cats for comfort? I just acquired a cat yesterday. Wow, she gives 100 per cent affection, it really helps. Therapy comes from many sources, my step to get a cat was something, ironically, I could have never done in the context of the relationship since she disliked (? we were never a match then, me a cat-lover) them and was also allergic to them.

[Moonie75]

I had a basset hound called Elvis who passed away not long before I began my BPD adventure. I missed him, grieved him, and then enjoyed the not being 'tied' by a dog.

But since my relationship I am definitely waning back towards re-entering dog ownership again.

Unconditional love.

Overwhelmed with excitement to see you every time you get home.

A faithful friend who does not judge & will come rest their head on your lap when you're hurting. (because they know).

[State85]

I had a basset hound called Elvis who passed away not long before I began my BPD adventure. I missed him, grieved him, and then enjoyed the not being 'tied' by a dog.

But since my relationship I am definitely waning back towards re-entering dog ownership again.

Unconditional love.

Overwhelmed with excitement to see you every time you get home.

A faithful friend who does not judge & will come rest their head on your lap when you're hurting. (because they know).

I have two black labs, they're my best friends. It got to a point at my house when she came over, they would just run to my room and stay there.

Yes, unconditional love... .

[Turkish]

Mine doesn't like animals (some "animalistic fear" she has). I am, however, going to get pet rats again in a year or so when my kids get older. Turkish was the name of one of my last pair of neutered males (the other was Tommy... . movie buffs will get it). My X made me abandon them because of her abject fear of them. She can't even see them on tv. They were so sweet and docile. I abandonded my little buddies for an attachment that was trouble from the beginning. She made me abandon them, then a few years later, she abandoned me. Never again will I do that. They were cute, furry creatures who came when called and sat on your shoulder happily chattering (the rat equivalent of purring). It's not like they were pirhanas, scorpions or anthrax spores.

[coastalfog1]

I ended up getting a dog from the pound,she had been starved and shot by her last owner. I recognize that look of pain in her eyes. Here's to hoping two broken hearts can heal each other! She's been nothing but a godsend,I'm now forced to leave my apartment .

[thisyoungdad]

"We" had gotten a wonderful dog about a year and a half before she bolted. I had wanted a dog and she agreed so we were looking but then we found him and as a guy I don't bond well with male pets, and studies show that is normal. She loved him though, and he is the most wonderful, gentle, smart dog in the world for a little child so we adopted him. Then she left me and she left him with me! Financially taking care of him has been tough. I am not at all emotionally attached to him. I had to get a rental house instead of an apartment to keep him in (more money) and I can't go away for weekends, or nights without a sitter... . I have a kid all the time essentially. I am still resentful. Yet my daughter who is now 3 1/2 adores him so rehoming him isn't an option. I did get her a cat around Thanksgiving from a friend because she really really wanted one and I know pets help kids in tough divorces and I am glad I did. The burden of the dog though... . she would not even pick him up from the groomers who is 3 blocks from her house and drop him in my yard which is 3 blocks from hers when I got stuck and could not get there. That is how little she helps. I feel like I got the short end of the stick on this one.

[peacebaby]

My X and I broke up 2 months ago, and we had two cats, she belonged more to the boy cat and I belonged more to the cat who's just like me. She moved out, got settled, and the boy cat moved in with her a week ago. Losing him was the hardest part for me--the cats and caring for them, living with them, was a big part of what our family and home was.

However also, having the cats is a HUGE help to us both, because we still have someone to share love and cuddles with, someone to take care of who were supposed to take care of. I don't know what I'd do without my girl cat. 

[imstronghere2]

My exwBPD was the proverbial "crazy old cat lady".  When she abandoned our family, she left behind the 8 cats she had brought into this house AND her dog.

It wasn't their fault she left and my son has bonded to all of them and they're pretty much the only family he has here now, other than myself so I kept them.  It's a chore and a half (to say the least) trying to keep up with all of it but it is what it is.  I feel a responsibility for them since I allowed them to come into this house.  It's another one of those things that I'll never get my head around.  I could never abandon my pets, let alone my kids the way the exwBPD did.  But then, I'm not mentally ill.

[LuckyEscapee]

My ex was too self absorbed to entertain having a pet, plus he needed to be the center of all attention. Now I have two dogs and they are each worth a million of him. It's a simple, honest, loving relationship 

[ogopogodude]

We have two cats and two dogs. The cats are self sufficient and are outdoor cats, ... really only coming back every so often to eat and then go outside to chase mice or whatever. The dogs are great company. My ex has one of them, I have the other. Both dogs are very uneasy around my BPDwife. It is like they sense a tsunami or perpetual earthquake about to happen. In other words, the dogs are scared sh**less around her. They tremble.

[Lol4fun]

I've got a dog & two cats that I had way before I got involved with my ex. My Australian Shepherd is my baby have had him since he was 7 1/2 weeks old he is now 3.  He goes mountain biking with me runs errands with me etc. When I started dating my ex he would frequently take my dog running with him. My dog loved this! And frankly my ex was like a little kid around animals just enamored with them. Anyway, now whenever I'm out with my dog running errands or taking a walk if he sees someone running he thinks it's my ex & starts whining & then gets a little depressed looking. That kinda breaks my heart.