why cant i walk away?

[simplyasiam]

six years of this BPD mess and ive tried everything I can think of everything ive learned here in treatment online and from reading book, nothing helps.

I see now its up to her to want help. we recycle every two weeks now.

im so use to this its crazy.

I have become stronger I don't let her just run over me I use the tools I learned her. I try and let her bad moods pass. it seems the less I react to her bad mood the worse she acts.

I left her home four days ago and didn't hear from till this this morning... . I hate it that I love you so much, and after that the blame game was on. I took no blame for the way thing are and she only seemed to get more upset.

I know whats coming the good by call txt or email I will not reply and with in a week she will ask me to come back, same story for the last nine months.

im not hurting inside anymore. I know I can live with out her, ive been doing it for months. I get nothing from the r/s but still I try when ever she wants to. ive dated other women, women that don't have a seven year old trapped inside running the show.

I know its up to me to end this if its going to end. I don't know if she could ever be so strong as to stop.

I really wonder about myself at times

[Moonie75]

Have you sought any professional help? Doctor, therapist etc? Do you have any support network in place?

It sounds like you are in a very upsetting & difficult place. 

[maxen]

are you yourself getting any emotional satisfaction out of this?

[simplyasiam]

yes I have good support in my family and hers but no doctor.

I really get nothing from it, im no upset or hurt not hopeful

kind of seem like im just killing time