Just learned wife still slept with her ex even after we started dating

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Well, the hits just keep on coming.

I just learned that my stbxwife continued to sleep with her ex boyfriend even though she broke up with him to start dating me - for several months after her and I started dating!  Wow. I had my suspicions on this but it's now been confirmed. I have been cheated on at all stages of my relationship with her: dating, marriage, and trial separation. Wow.

Has anyone had this?  Their significant other still hold on to the former boyfriend or girlfriend even when they supposedly ended with them and then started dating you?

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Well, the hits just keep on coming.

I just learned that my stbxwife continued to sleep with her ex boyfriend even though she broke up with him to start dating me - for several months after her and I started dating!  Wow. I had my suspicions on this but it's now been confirmed. I have been cheated on at all stages of my relationship with her: dating, marriage, and trial separation. Wow.

Has anyone had this?  Their significant other still hold on to the former boyfriend or girlfriend even when they supposedly ended with them and then started dating you?

[arn131arn]

Hey Seeking, I was actually thinking of u today, bro. Haven't heard from u in a while. When my ex and I started dating 14 yrs ago, our first split she ran off with a guy she was with before me. I caught her by stealing a cell phone bill she had and knew they were talking daily. She admitted it FINALLY when she was pregnant for my son. Putting two and two together now, I am certain she has cheated many times throughout our RS. But heaven forbid, I even talk to a girl at school during a split. I never heard the end of that one. She even told the world on FB that I was on the low down gay? Really? Seeking, quit trying to find out about her, seek therapy, look deep inside you, u will find peace brother. I know it's there and I'm after that peace and my son like a rabid dog! Arn

[Changingman]

I've had to assume she slept with everyone.

[santa]

I'll tell you one thing, Seeking. You're really a great guy. She totally blew it. You gave her a hell of a good opportunity and she was too stupid to take it. It's a shame that she wouldn't cooperate with you. She's got to have things her way come hell or high water though.

The more I read about your ex, the more I think that you're really coming out ahead in this. I think this is probably the best thing that's ever happened to you and that you are very fortunate to be rid of her.

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Hey arn,

Thanks for the post. I'm doing well. Maintained pretty much NC since Jan. 2nd!  I'm proud of myself. There have been some hard days in between, some days I really missed her. But to be honest, learning all that I've learned, I really have dodged a bullet. Deep down I know that.   My stbxwife even implied to my friends I was gay too!  what the heck!  Is this something BPD's do?

Santa,

Thanks buddy. I really appreciate the nice words. Yeah, I am a pretty decent guy if I do say so myself and I know I deserve a whole lot better than this. Santa, I gave her my very very best self every single day. But something one poster said that really struck me was this: "go give your goodness to someone who can give it back."  I'm working hard at detaching from this 14 year relationship and trying to build a much better me. I WILL come out better from all this. I WILL be a better man and a happier human being for going through all this.

I cannot thank everyone on this site enough for the posts and sharing their stories. I would not be where I am right now without it.

[Perfidy]

I've had to assume she slept with everyone.

Well, I don't know about everyone. I tagged her though. Kidding.