Friday Night and She is MIA

[joethemechanic]

4 hours late. I know she is drunk somewhere. I just hope she is ok. This hurts my heart so bad.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MissyM]

I am new to this board, so don't have any great advice to give.  Those are tough times. Do you go to AlAnon or have any support for yourself through this?  It is gut wrenching waiting to see if they survive those nights.

[misneach]

I had this night Wednesday night. Finally came home so drunk he could barely stand and walk. Again thanked God for a night he made it home and didn't hurt himself or anyone else. You pace the front windows, you pray, and you pace some more. And you wait.

[MissyM]

Oh, I see you have been sober yourself for some time.  Seems many of my AA friends have had a much harder time on the alanon side of the isle.  It is so hard to deal with wanting to fix the addict.  Will keep you in my prayer tonight.

[elemental]

I am sorry Joe. Probably you are fighting a losing battle. From what you are saying she is telling you, she has zero intention of being accountible for herself. She is blaming you for not being there years ago when you were a child. Why weren't you there then? Because you are a separate person, with a separate life, that has his own thoughts, likes, interests and some very human and appropriate needs.

She is taking all of your bandwidth. You are going to have to let her go to save both of you. She isn't going to respect herself or you if you keep controlling, saving, and accomodating her antics.

Sorry   

[joethemechanic]

Thanks for the kind responses everyone.

I just got a one ring call from her phone, but when I called back no answer.

Really I feel like I'm reliving the hell I went through with her back in 87 and 88. Back then it was booze and meth. Now it's just booze (I hope) although booze is bad enough.

What the heck did I do to deserve this? It hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. I love her with all my heart. If only she could stop with the drinking. It's breaking my heart