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Author Topic: Their Mask  (Read 2890 times)
GuiltHaunted
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 206



« Reply #30 on: January 29, 2014, 05:42:35 PM »

Excerpt
The thing that struck me as most odd, was when she would try to write a formal letter... .

WOW. What a revelation to me! Smiling (click to insert in post) You see, when I met my ex, I had just moved to her country and didn't speak her language. She always helped my write formal letters. She would struggle for hours writing something like a simple e-mail to my landlord, that something in my apartment was broken. Something I would have jotted in 5 min in English or my native language. At the time I thought "gosh, this is really a complicated language!".

Just now, I found two letters she wrote on my computer years ago! One after her apartment was destroyed, due to a fault in a chimney, leaving the entire apartment and all her things cover in soot deposit (that was by the way what made us move together). The other is a complain about her mobile phone being disconnect because she didn't pay the bill. Yes, you read it right - SHE complained and faulted them for HER not paying her bill!  Red flag/bad  (click to insert in post)

Now I speak the language quite well, and I am perfectly capable of writing an imperfect formal letter. And the wording that she uses is outright strange. Also, the tone is bizarre, considering in both cases she want to achieve something, yet the tone is hostile and aggressive.

Thank you for this insight! I think that moved me from 90% certainty that she is indeed uBPD to 99%.

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Changingman
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Daughter 15, Son 14
Posts: 644



« Reply #31 on: January 29, 2014, 06:26:30 PM »

The mask is what you see before trigger day. The mask that views you as a good person. Loving. Kind. You are spoken to as a human being. Then there is the other mask. The one that lies right underneath that first mask, that is revealed in dramatic fashion, post trigger day. In devaluation. That mask views you as horrible. Flawed. Unlovable. Vile. Disgusting. Contempt. Scorn. And that mask, has a unique but disturbing quality. Only the person closest to the pwBPD gets to see that very mask. See, the other people around the pwBPD, still see the original mask that you saw, albeit, a more generic version of it. A mask that exudes fake confidence. And smiles. Just enough, for those people, so that they do not see or even suspect that another mask, lies just beneath the surface. What a terrible disorder.

Does this mean that those of us who are CoD also wear a mask of self confidence, caregiver, etc. that comes off at times when we are stressed?  I know I get raging mad on occasion. This concept is so hard for me to comprehend and is probably the most damaging to me since it implies that I really lived a TOTAL lie for 3 years.

No Waifed. The mask is the representation of the 2 different personalities presented before and after trigger day. Everyone else presents a consistent face to friends, lovers, family, etc. One personality. Not multiple.

Hi Ironman,

I'm not sure what you mean, my take is the mask is a complete well developed false front pseudo personality. Underneath is all the reality of the lost person and the disorder. Some things she keeps from previous attempts at faking it, that are still valid.

Pre and post trigger? Aren't they just survival modes.

I like your new look

Mirroring is being the other person. But new things cause stress and they use previous modes ho cope?

I'm not sure
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