Hope and dreams

[coastalfog1]

I’ve been thinking a lot about my r/s with my exBPDgf lately. I’m pretty d@mn angry at her, but why? Do I miss her and the dream she represented? Is it the soul destroying kick to my ego she inflicted with all the personal ads she put up before we were separated? I’m starting to think it has little to do with my broken heart. That will mend. I’ve had normal r/s before. It hurts, you process, you accept and then move on and value the time you had with that other person. What pisses me off is I not only trusted this woman with my heart but my hopes and dreams as well. Hearts can be glued back together and mend, hopes and dreams once lost often time stay lost forever.

She gleefully sat back and watched me destroy my dreams. Even encouraged it and for that I can’t forgive her yet. I’m getting stronger. I’ll make new dreams and learn to bury the old ones. And eventually I’ll learn to forgive her and myself. Today I’m angry and rambling….

[Pretty Woman]

Coastal.

  The dreams were not mutual. She was mirroring your hopes and dreams. She was tagging along for a ride she knew she would eventually jump ship from.

Don't give up on those dreams. There is a healthier woman out there that will be able to stay the course. It's hard. I know this. Time away helps to regain and rebuild the part of you lost in all this.

It gets better. 

[heartandwhole]

coastal,

I hear you and I was also dreaming and hoping with pwBPD... . then it was all shattered in an instant.  I came to realize that those dreams were about me and what I needed, not us.  I had to admit that I was hoping to be "saved" by the relationship and all that we were going to do together.

Not saying that this is what you were doing.  I just know how hard and painful it is to let go of dreams and plans made with someone you love.

It's so understandable to feel angry right now.  We're here for you.