Blog: Why do people deliberately injure themselves?

[Tightrope walker]

I came across a blog that I found enlightening "Why do people deliberately injure themselves?"

www.users.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/why.html

The blog describes the psychological motivations and physiological concerns. Having struggled with my BPD D's self harm and suicide attempts for several years, the article clarified some of her thinking to me.

 

"But people generally do things for reasons that make sense to them.  The reasons may not be apparent or fit into our frame of reference, but they exist and recognizing their existence is crucial to understanding self-harm.  With understanding of the reasons behind a particular act of self-harm comes knowledge of the coping skills that are lacking."

                   

Tightrope walker



Article written by blogger, Deb Matheson (2002)

www.users.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Thanks for the link, Tightrope walker 

It's very informative and educational, and many parents on this site who are dealing with this regarding their children will appreciate it.

Is this something that you are dealing with in some way?

It really is scary, painful and confusing being a parent to a child with BPD, and anything that can give us insights into his/her state of mind and behaviors is appreciated... .

[crazedncrazymom]

That was an interesting read.  My dd16 struggles with self harm.  She cuts to relieve pain.  I will never understand it no matter how hard I try.  Of course, I don't understand why tomatoes are considered a fruit either.  I've just come to accept these things.

[MammaMia]

They use physical pain to block emotional pain and feelings of worthlessness.

This makes no sense to healthy individuals.  To them it is a distraction and perhaps a subconscious  cry for help.

[Tightrope walker]

Rapt Reader,

Yes my D26 is a habitual self harm and "overdosing" addict.  She has been doing this for years and has some very severe scars.  She just ended up hospitalized twice this past week for doing this again. 

  On top of it, she is killing herself by overeating.  I saying that she has gained at least 100 lbs in over 6 months and is now morbidly obese.  Yes, the medicines do play a part, but there is nothing new.  Of course, she is now having some serious health problems.    To me this is another aspect of self harm: eating oneself to death. 

                                                   Tightrope walker

[Rapt Reader]

I'm really sorry to hear that, Tightrope walker. It's always so painful to watch our BPD child (even an adult child) self-destruct and realize that there is not always very much we can do about it. I've been where you are now, and I learned that once someone realizes they have a problem and then gets help for it and is determined to "get better," things can start to go in the right direction.

Two times in one week... . That's so sad. Does your daughter go to any therapy at all? If she doesn't, is there any chance she would decide to do that? I've found some links that may help you in some way if she is resisting treatment:

Helping a loved one with BPD seek treatment

Self injury and self harm

BPD: Treatments, Cures

Free On-Line Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Program (CBT)

Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder [New]

I don't mean to overwhelm you, Tightrope walker, but I hope so much that you can help your daughter somehow to turn things around, sooner rather than later. Please take care of yourself, also... . We are listening to you, and here for you