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Author Topic: My observation of her BPD traits  (Read 4996 times)
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Daughter 15, Son 14
Posts: 644

« Reply #30 on: February 22, 2014, 02:34:30 AM »

Mine would always have very poor eye contact.  The therapist we saw said it was telling, that constant looking away or up was indicative of some kind of mental illness. 

Anyone else notice this with their BPD?  Poor eye contact?

I also have seen the rage eyes.  Cold, rage-fueled, terrifying. 

Yes almost everyone said to when I asked what they thought about her " she wouldn't loo me in the eye". Almost everyone.
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 300

« Reply #31 on: February 22, 2014, 08:24:22 AM »

Mine had what I called dead eyes.  It happened when she disassociated or if some how she thought she disappointed me.  It was eyes completely void of emotion, like no one was home at all.  It was scary honestly.  Like there was no recognition whatsoever.  I told her about it during her more lucid good periods and she acted like I was crazy to say that 

She also would be absolutely silent during these times.  Or if she spoke it would be a child like refrain she kept saying over and over.

I simply would want a healthy discussion... . but I realize now I could never have one with her.  It would always end by me cajoling her back to reality.  Sigh. 


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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 24

« Reply #32 on: February 22, 2014, 12:01:48 PM »

My stbxh would always accuse me of looking at him like, "I thought he was crazy" when he was raging... . well no sh!t... . he would be breaking things, throwing things, cursing up a storm, and acting like a violent 5 year old having a temper tantrum because something wasn't the way he thought it should be... . yup, I admit it, I looked at him with eyes that said... . "you sure are crazy"! 
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 5519

« Reply #33 on: February 22, 2014, 01:00:58 PM »

I'm mindful that whatever traits I place on my ex are coming from a place of bias - I was in an unhealthy place myself. Many traits I listed for my ex could have been true for half the worlds population at any given time.

I'm sure my ex found traits in me he could list - doesn't make them untrue - it's perspective.

Shift the focus to you and your traits that landed you in this relationship. This is where the detaching begins.

We tend to seek out emotional equals - food for thought.



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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 29

« Reply #34 on: February 24, 2014, 07:09:41 AM »

  Hello everyone,

Its been 56 days, 19 hrs, 31 mins since my BPDexgf just got up and walked out the door, abandoned me and Havent seen or heard from her since then.  Im still at square one, some days are better than others, BUT NONE OF THEM ARE 'GOOD DAYS'!

  Ive lived thru and seen "THE LOOK"  several times, I used to think her stare was cold and soulless, and maybe it was a little.  But I think DUDE has it right, now that theres been some time pass, some "separation", Ive replayed those moments a million times in my head and Ive come to the same conclusion,  "that look", came from somewhere deep inside her, somewhere in her soul.  A place where we keep all of our most traumatic and terrifying experiences.  It was the look of a child, a scared, terrified, tormented child.

I can only imagine what it was like for her growing up and having to deal with the constant sexual abuse brought on by her father and his friends. She always told me that she was "broken" and that she was no good for anyone... .   I cannot imagine walking in her shoes, and Im possitive that "the look" comes from somewhere other that trying to be malicious.

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