SNOW + UPCOMING VALENTINES DAY = VERY STRESSFUL

[seh77]

So my dBPDgf has been ok lately considering my Dad is in Hospice care and my attention isn't 100% on her.  Well we are getting ready to have a big snowstorm.  It's not snowing yet and she is PISSED that I went ahead to work.  She was like I will go to work as well and if I get stuck I get stuck there.  I told her I would leave as soon as it starts snowing.  But that wasn't good.  She was watching all of the news reports stating don't go anywhere that a civil state of emergency has been declared ect.  So of course I am in the wrong.  I am trying to get hired on where I work Permanently and by the looks of it I would have been the only one that would have called in.  And now she is giving me the silent treatment.  I told her I would stay home and she wouldn't have any of that.  She said I would be mad and I told her I wouldn't. 

So now we are set up to fuss and more than likely get snowed in tonight due to the 14 inches that is expected to fall in the next two days.     I really can't handle the added stress.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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[seh77]

UPDATE:

She finally started answering my text.  She stated that I chose my JOB over our family.  That I am just like her X.  That is so painful to hear.  I told her I didn't want to burn my Vacation days due to my Dad being in hospice care.  I need those for him. 

I am so tired of her doing this.  Acting like it's my fault for going to work.  For trying to make sure I have enough money to pay the bills.  I haven't chosen work over family.  But that's what she has in her head now.  How do I not let this go into a LONG drawn out arguement?  Because we are expected to get a lot of snow over the next 24 hours so I will be stuck home.

I really need help... .   :'(

[guitarguy09]

Sorry to hear about your predicament. It sounds like you were really making an effort to spend a nice Valentine's Day with your gf, despite all of the snow and the added stress of your dad being in hospice. Also very sorry to hear about that. How are you coping with it?

It's certainly not selfish of you not to want to burn your vacation days on your gf when your dad is in hospice. If your gf doesn't understand and keeps bringing up the same arguments, gently respond with what you said before about it. Could you bring some food home and make something at home tonight? Maybe watch a movie? Hopefully you will still be able to have some sort of a nice evening.

[SleepsOnSofa]

I don't have anything more useful to add than what Guitarguy said, but I feel your pain. I'm about to have a snow day, followed by Valentine's, followed by a week's break from work (I'm a teacher, it's mid-winter break). That's a lot more togetherness than our relationship can usually withstand.

I'm not walking on eggshells, I'm tiptoeing through a minefield.

[seh77]

Here is how my day ended.  (After her texting me numerous times that she didn't care if I made it home or not.)

I went to work for a few hours.  I stopped by hospice and spent some time with Dad watching it snow while he slept. 

I get home and she acts like everything is ok?  I didn't say a word but just went with it.  I didn't respond to her text earlier that day.  I think she saw that I was ok and did know what I was doing (at least that's what I am going with)  But it ended up not be too stressful. 

I'm coping as good as I can with my Dad.  It hurts seeing him in so much pain right now. 

SleepsOnSofa I totally understand what you mean about being around each other for long periods of time.  That is just a receipe for trouble.   

[seh77]

My Dad passed. I have decided that if she supports me and doesn't try and have the focus on her then we will stay together... . if not then I am done.  I CAN NOT go through any more drama.

I make this decision with a heavy heart as I have to say goodbye to my Dad.   :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[SleepsOnSofa]

I'm really sorry about your dad, seh.

You need to take care of your dad and your family and especially yourself now. She can either help you do that, or she can stay away, but she can't be allowed to make herself the center of things at a time like this. If she tries to do that, simply tell her to leave.

Take care of yourself and your family, and do what you have to do. We'll be thinking of you.

[123Phoebe]

Aw seh

I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing.  Please try to be very kind and gentle with yourself during this difficult time.

You're in my thoughts and prayers,

Phoebe