Putting me down

[Lilibeth]

My husband has this habit of putting me down - no matter where we are, at home, or out shopping or wherever - he just has to put me down. If i say something about a topic, he has to show that he knows more, and better, and what i say is either trashed, or reduced in some way, so as to show that i don't know much about anything. I cannot discriminate... . my powers of understanding and judging are flawed, i have no idea of how things ought to be, am willing to settle for any old thing... . and on... . What is it about just happily accepting things? Neither can he be happy, and he cannot stand my being happy about things we read or watch on tv or know - there has to be a reason - usually negative, a trace back to history, a connection with something that he knows... . always... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Steph]

 Indeed, this is a symptom of BPD.

How do you respond to this stuff?

[jaybuzz]

Me Too,

I had 11 months of my now ex putting me down, i even got put down because at bedtime i fell asleep before she did making her feel lonely, for using to much water in my bath (we didnt live together), even when we weren't together she would text me with put downs, the problem really sank in when i text her asking if she wanted to go to a wildlife centre 100 miles away for the day and i got a text accusing me of plotting to murder her.

In 11 months i only ever got put downs, never ever ever did she miss a chance to put me down.

My advice, walk away ... . No, run away and dont look back.

[Lilibeth]

I know, jaybuzz, it must have been very hard... . definitely sounds terrible - and i know how you must have felt... . worse and worse about yourself... . Ever since i became part of this family, i'm learning new techniques and ways of coping and am trying them out... . since i'm new at it, there are lots of times when i fail, but am learning not to beat myself up, but to carry on - at least i have the assurance i'm not alone... . and that for me is very, very important - and is helping me... .