Valentine's Day wish for all of you and myself...

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I am hoping that today some almost magical moment happens where I see that I am deeply loved, that the light comes on in my head that I am appreciated and needed and treasured. I am hoping that someone maybe out of the blue (and I don't mean opposite sex, either distant relative, neighbor, the mailman even) says or does something that tunes me back into why I matter.

If you are like me, you want to matter to someone. I know my children value me. I know that has been a very good thing all these years, my ties with them.

I have friends who are so so patient and kind with me over and over.

I have a nice old house, a wonderful yard (buried under several feet of snow right now), my birds and wild turkeys and deer and a really rotten old orange tom cat who visits -

So my world is a pretty good one.

But just today I am hoping I get one of those OH MY GOD reminders that I matter.

The last time it happened was about 2 weeks ago. A precious little girl, one of 9, that I have babysat while her mother was being treated for cancer some years back, wrote me a letter, it made me laugh out loud it was so cute and rambling (I think Mariam is about age 9) and at the end she told me she hoped I had a good week and that "all my wishes come true." It had actually been a really rotten week, but her love and sweetness tweaked it beautifully.

So those moments are there. I have spent Valentine's Days of old eating out by myself, I spot some nice couple maybe with their kids, the hardworking kind who are really stretching their dollar just eating out, and I get their dinner tab and leave.     It's a fun way to pay it all forward.

I need a moment like that for me today.

And I really really hope each of you, my fellow travellers in this journey where we all started out with such pain and damage, I hope you each will have a glimmering moment as well.

Here's to us.   

I will give you your moment right now - you matter to me.

Your words and thoughts and ideas and concerns - you matter to me.

      

[lucyhoneychurch]

I am hoping that today some almost magical moment happens where I see that I am deeply loved, that the light comes on in my head that I am appreciated and needed and treasured. I am hoping that someone maybe out of the blue (and I don't mean opposite sex, either distant relative, neighbor, the mailman even) says or does something that tunes me back into why I matter.

If you are like me, you want to matter to someone. I know my children value me. I know that has been a very good thing all these years, my ties with them.

I have friends who are so so patient and kind with me over and over.

I have a nice old house, a wonderful yard (buried under several feet of snow right now), my birds and wild turkeys and deer and a really rotten old orange tom cat who visits -

So my world is a pretty good one.

But just today I am hoping I get one of those OH MY GOD reminders that I matter.

The last time it happened was about 2 weeks ago. A precious little girl, one of 9, that I have babysat while her mother was being treated for cancer some years back, wrote me a letter, it made me laugh out loud it was so cute and rambling (I think Mariam is about age 9) and at the end she told me she hoped I had a good week and that "all my wishes come true." It had actually been a really rotten week, but her love and sweetness tweaked it beautifully.

So those moments are there. I have spent Valentine's Days of old eating out by myself, I spot some nice couple maybe with their kids, the hardworking kind who are really stretching their dollar just eating out, and I get their dinner tab and leave.     It's a fun way to pay it all forward.

I need a moment like that for me today.

And I really really hope each of you, my fellow travellers in this journey where we all started out with such pain and damage, I hope you each will have a glimmering moment as well.

Here's to us.   

I will give you your moment right now - you matter to me.

Your words and thoughts and ideas and concerns - you matter to me.

      

[StarStruck]

Back to you lucyhoneychurch - have a lovely day 

[Sitara]

You do matter lucyhoneychurch, and we definitely appreciate you being here! 

[Contradancer]

Thank you. I'm spending the evening with the nonBPDbf, who is making me dinner. He loves me and lets me know it in very many ways. This is the FIRST Valentine's in my life I've been looking forward to.

Best wishes for you, lucyhoneychurch. My guess is anyone who uses E. M. Forrester' s character as their screen name is lively and possibly has some fun up their sleeve.  

[lucyhoneychurch]

Thank you all!

I saw my VM blinking last night upstairs... . clicked it thinking telemarketer (they have to make a living too ) and it was this adorable almost 90-yr-old gent who is endeared to so many of us here in the community (small place everybody knows everybody else) and he was calling to wish me a happy Valentine's Day... . he has been so vigilant when health crises happens as he knows my daughter well and checks with her when things go wrong.

His lovely lovely partner of over 60 years died last March 27. He has physically declined, dramatically so, since she died.  They were such an adorable pair, each doting and kind with the other. I loved talking to them together but such a big hurt inside that I would never know that kind of attachment and love. How many do, really, for that long?

So I *DID* get my extra little "hey the universe is sending you this!" along with your sweet greetings here.

I will call him today.

I know he would send each of you the same affection and kindness if he knew you.    He's like that. Through and through... .