Actually, my anxiety is now gone

[misssouthernbelle]

I, having an Anti-Social Personality Disorder ex, suspected the pwBPD of having a personality disorder early on, especially after he said he had been molested as a child by his father. I found a webpage explaining Borderline men and was quick to take offense and think "No, he wouldn't do that to me!" I quickly dismissed the page and kept on falling into the BPD vs. Codependent trap I was in.

Now, 6 days into no contact after being split black, I reread the article, desperate for answers and to feel a sense of calm about how things went down. As a codependent, I've been hellbent on proving to myself that it wasn't me, though I know it wasn't. You can't tell that to my inner child that is grieving the loss.

However, this article helped me detach A LOT. Actually, my anxiety is now gone and I view him as disordered, instead of the sweet boy in need of rescue. I see him for who he is. Just because there's that child in him, doesn't mean what he does isn't calculated and wrong.

Our friendship/relationship/whatever fits this EXACTLY. It's eerie!

It even explains why he couldn't get physically close to me, which I always wondered.

Plus, the ex-pwBPD was Jewish, which it says is more prevalent amongst their culture! That was a big factor in our "demise". He hates Christians... . probably because I was one. Lol.

Does his resonate with anyone else?