Death threats

[joshbjoshb]

I started typing this whole long story... . but because the site was down everything was lost

Today my wife told me she will hire a hitman or take a knife and kill me. Of course it was in middle of a rage and then she apologize, and said she is going to some herbalist and taking herbs and that is the extend of the professional help she is going to get.

It all stopped when I told her I am calling 911.

What do you think?

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[joshbjoshb]

Would appreciate some responses before my wife wakes up

[waverider]

Is this a first time?

Is it totally out of character or just upping the anti from prior behavior?

Certainly pwBPD say a whole lot of extreme stuff that has no meaning the next day

[trappeddad]

my L says there is nothing to do about the death threats, just document them.     I would attempt to record them too.      I tell friends she probably won't act on those threats, but there is always a 2% chance.    I can't live life in fear and accept this threat as my reality.    telling friends/family will  help police with the paper trail.     I know my comments don't help but it's our reality.

[joshbjoshb]

Is this a first time?

Is it totally out of character or just upping the anti from prior behavior?

Certainly pwBPD say a whole lot of extreme stuff that has no meaning the next day

Upping. On the heels of "I wish one of us would drop dead" or "I want to kill myself".

I am, however, very sick of this kind of talk.

[joshbjoshb]

my L says there is nothing to do about the death threats, just document them.     I would attempt to record them too.      I tell friends she probably won't act on those threats, but there is always a 2% chance.    I can't live life in fear and accept this threat as my reality.    telling friends/family will  help police with the paper trail.     I know my comments don't help but it's our reality.

Yes, I also document it... . although I am thinking more it will help one day with a custody battle if I ever need to come to it... . I am so worn down by this.

[Samuel S.]

If my BPDw ever in a fit of rage were to say she would kill or harm me, that would be the last time she would see me. A threat is a threat, even if there is an apology afterwards. Your life is more important to be preserved!

[Samuel S.]

One more thing. When a person makes a death threat or threatens to harm another, there's an underlying rage there, even if they catch themselves afterwards and try to apologize. Anyone in their right mind will be stable, respectful. Such a person like this cannot be trusted. Think of it in this way. Do you wish to be asleep? Suddenly, due to her rage, she will act on her threat to kill you? You might think this is impossible; however, when it comes to a person with such a rage, anything is possible unfortunately, and it has happened. In other words, preserve your health!

[MammaMia]

In my State, that would be considered a Terroristic Threat punishable by prison.  If you had called the police, she may have been charged.  I suspect once her BPD was discovered, however, she would probably end up in mandatory treatment.

[joshbjoshb]

Samuel and Mamaia - do you have spouses with BPD? Because some of the people responding here seems not to get too excited over this, I assume because they are used to this.

Are we suckers, or that you don't have such severe cases of pwBPD's?

[Kifazes]

I also document them.

In the beginning I would try to talk to him, since that doesn't work, I call his Mom and let her deal with him.

And everytime I tell him I'll call 911.

[MammaMia]

Josh

I do not think anyone should take this kind of threat lightly. PwBPD ARE capable of acting on their threats, especially if they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.  

I have been there with both my BPDex h and my dBPDs.  Anyone who makes these kinds of threats cannot be trusted.  I divorced my h, and my son is not allowed by law to live in my home and our contact is kept to a minimum.

It is not ok to assume they do not mean what they say.

[Samuel S.]

Yes, my wife is BPD and continues being that way with her verbal abuse and with her neglect.

I agree with MammaMia completely. A threat is a threat. It is not ok to assume they do not mean what they say. As for documenting your BPDw's threats, anyone can document all they want, but the documents are just that - documents. The threats have been made. The fear is rightfully there. The distrust is rightfully there.

Yes, Josh, I am a sucker, hoping that my BPDw will change. I have been beginning to doubt this now. There was love between us. Now, with her previous verbal abuse and with her neglect the last year, she is making me believe quite earnestly that she cannot change to be loving again, and this is really hard for me to type, not alone to acknowledge.

Back to you, though, Josh, your safety has to be your priority. She obviously does not care, or else, she would not be making such a threat. Please stay safe and frankly, if I were you, away from her! Bottom line, she can be dangerous, no matter how much she wants to apologize.