She is appearing as expert in matters of mental health?

[Depression = 72% of members]

A few days ago, I saw the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". I wanted to see it because the lead female role has been described as BPD. Pretty much every line the character spoke, had at some point in the relationship with my uBPDexgf been spoken by her. It was almost chilling, especially the line:

"Oh, well, isn't that just another one of Joel's self-fulfilling prophecies?"

My ex spent a whole e-mail writing me about self-fulfilling prophecies, complete with links to Wikipedia and how "this was something that she had especially notes during her 10 years of therapy". The e-mail was mid-relationship when I had a shorter down period, due to career not progressing as I wanted. Somehow, this was turned to be a relationship issue as well, in which connection she wrote that e-mail.

A site, that is a bit controversial site here, because it popularizes and demonizes pwBPD, says the following:

Borderlines are often plagiarists or copycats.

The author goes on to say, that the pwBPD may themselves have read a lot of self-help books (or picked things up in therapy?) and may mimic the information acquired, without applying it themselves... . And that this in turn may make them seem competent when discussing emotional matters, adding to the confusion of the NON, as it makes the pwBPD seem like the sane, knowledgeable one.

Is there something to this?

Did you experience something similar?

(And did anyone else get the same chilling feeling of having heard it all before when watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"?)

[GuiltHaunted]

A few days ago, I saw the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". I wanted to see it because the lead female role has been described as BPD. Pretty much every line the character spoke, had at some point in the relationship with my uBPDexgf been spoken by her. It was almost chilling, especially the line:

"Oh, well, isn't that just another one of Joel's self-fulfilling prophecies?"

My ex spent a whole e-mail writing me about self-fulfilling prophecies, complete with links to Wikipedia and how "this was something that she had especially notes during her 10 years of therapy". The e-mail was mid-relationship when I had a shorter down period, due to career not progressing as I wanted. Somehow, this was turned to be a relationship issue as well, in which connection she wrote that e-mail.

A site, that is a bit controversial site here, because it popularizes and demonizes pwBPD, says the following:

Borderlines are often plagiarists or copycats.

The author goes on to say, that the pwBPD may themselves have read a lot of self-help books (or picked things up in therapy?) and may mimic the information acquired, without applying it themselves... . And that this in turn may make them seem competent when discussing emotional matters, adding to the confusion of the NON, as it makes the pwBPD seem like the sane, knowledgeable one.

Is there something to this?

Did you experience something similar?

(And did anyone else get the same chilling feeling of having heard it all before when watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"?)

[Chunk Palumbo]

It's funny how similar some of our pwBPD/uBPDs are!  My first (diagnosed) came across as very knowledgeable in the field of psychology. And the second (un), in the field of medical science.

Both were inspired with a hunger in those areas after having related issues in their lives. The first, for example, after being officially diagnosed. And the second, after surgery and a potentially fatal health scare.

I didn't mind it, as it made for interesting conversations.

[growing_wings]

absolutely... .

mine comes across as an expert in phsychology, even to the point of identifying and describing the issues that every person around her had: Passive aggresive, depressive, etc... .  "expert" on Jungian psychology, or other currents... .

also she is also an expert on spiritual matters... . you name the author she can quote it... .

i have no issue with people having a good insight in spiritual and self development stuff, but the difference is "walking the talk" vs. talking the talk... .

[GuiltHaunted]

My first (diagnosed) came across as very knowledgeable in the field of psychology. And the second (un), in the field of medical science.

my uBPDexgf had an education as doctor's assistant. Towards the end of our relationship she had a cyst (of course used as an excuse for no sex). She went to several doctors and one of them actually wanted to operate her. I then drove her to another doctor the next week (someone from the looks of his clinic seemed a lot more professional). I still remember her walking out of the consultation angry and as soon as we closed the door behind us, she would say "Quack Doctor!" and was really agitated.

On the drive back, I asked her what happened, and she said he didn't want to give her medication, that he wanted to see how it developed and wanted to see her again in a month. So I asked her, "did you tell him that other doctors already saw this on the scans over a month ago, that the previous doc wanted to operate you?", to which she replied "no, it was his job to diagnose her and doctors didn't like when you shopped around". I became furious with her and told her "who cares what he thinks, it's your body, your health! It your responsibility to HELP him diagnose you, he is not a fortune teller that magically knows everything that takes place in your body". In the end I told her that "you shouldn't be allowed to go to a doctor without an adult present".  Ahh the memories! :-) All this from someone educated in the field, who should know better!

A month after she broke up with me, I talked with her and asked her how she was doing. And with her health (cyst, slipped disc, heart condition, teeth falling out - man it sounds like my ex was 60!, alas she is only 27). The cyst had disappeared, the doctor (the quack one) had given her a hormone treatment and it had gone by itself. I couldn't help it but saying "then he wasn't a quack after all". Honestly I was a bit disappointed at the time knowing, that she now wouldn't have pain sleeping with my replacement

[charred]

Mine kind of was an expert... ( it added to her ability to manipulate.) She had a masters in early developmental something or other... and work toward her doctorate. Constantly acting the authority on what everyone should do raising kids. However she was a horror to her kid... . I felt for him, no chance he will be normal.

I think they have a genuine interest in how people get screwed up, and in motivation/manipulation/persuasion.

Used to know some fat diet doctors... . same thing, they knew a lot, but didn't apply it to themselves.

[fromheeltoheal]

Ever get the feeling when someone says something that they heard it somewhere else and are just reciting it?  Happened a lot with my ex, parroting without really taking it in.  A lot of borderlines go into counseling and mental health professions, which they may be a little qualified for because they've gotten so much information trying to find answers for their own crap, but it is a little creepy to have someone who is far from healed helping you with your own healing, but how would you really know if they're high functioning and untriggered?  Buyer beware.

Yes, Eternal Sunshine is a pertinent flick for what we're faced with, just remember it's Hollywood and not gospel.  Other good ones are Prozac Nation, Thirteen and Fatal Attraction.

[Waifed]

A few days ago, I saw the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". I wanted to see it because the lead female role has been described as BPD. Pretty much every line the character spoke, had at some point in the relationship with my uBPDexgf been spoken by her. It was almost chilling, especially the line:

"Oh, well, isn't that just another one of Joel's self-fulfilling prophecies?"

My ex spent a whole e-mail writing me about self-fulfilling prophecies, complete with links to Wikipedia and how "this was something that she had especially notes during her 10 years of therapy". The e-mail was mid-relationship when I had a shorter down period, due to career not progressing as I wanted. Somehow, this was turned to be a relationship issue as well, in which connection she wrote that e-mail.

A site, that is a bit controversial site here, because it popularizes and demonizes pwBPD, says the following:

Borderlines are often plagiarists or copycats.

[/b]

The author goes on to say, that the pwBPD may themselves have read a lot of self-help books (or picked things up in therapy?) and may mimic the information acquired, without applying it themselves... . And that this in turn may make them seem competent when discussing emotional matters, adding to the confusion of the NON, as it makes the pwBPD seem like the sane, knowledgeable one.

Is there something to this?

Did you experience something similar?

(And did anyone else get the same chilling feeling of having heard it all before when watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"?)

Borderlines are often plagiarists or copycats.

I believe that I read somewhere that narcissists are really bad about doing this.  My ex used to recite articles that she read online or in a book.  It was crazy.  She would repeat something that she had read earlier and it would sound like she was actually reading it at that moment.  Nuts.  She was also bad about repeating or copying something that I had said at an earlier time.  I noticed this especially during sex.  

[Allmessedup]

Oh my!  I heard a huge amount about self fufilling prophecies from my ex BPDgf.   She often used it as a way to convince me all the problems were my fault.

She worked with me at a community mental health center and had gone thru therapy decades earlier.  So she definitely considered herself an expert.

Funny though my family just thought she was a know it all.  She had very strong opinions on EVERYTHING that could not be dissuaded.

[charred]

My pwBPD was certainly a parrot... all it took was questioning some of her bold statements to make it clear she based her positions on the reactions they got, rather than any deep understanding of a subject. I follow politics closely... she would make statements with nothing to back them up and it would devolve in to a hissy fit on her part... so we quit talking politics eventually.

I think it was all based on reaction because of one particularly gruesome thing she did... a supposed friend of hers (I don't think she had real ones)... started dating a younger guy. We are talking a lady in her late 30's dating a guy in his late 20's. My pwBPD expressed her dissapproval... her friend laughed at her and said she was jealous. While later she laid it on thicker about how it was wrong for her to be seeing this boy... and the friend just looked at her like "are you for real?" So finally she said to the friend that she didn't know why she was robbing the cradle and didn't like having a pedophile for a friend.

That of course got a strong reaction from the gal... . and then my pwBPD... was talking about how unreasonable and immoral her ex-friend was.

Really... . borderline is wrong word for this disorder... . thinking back... it is 100% crazy... no almost to it.

If something didn't get a reaction she wanted... . raise the insults and hurt till it did... . pretty screwed up I think.

[DontPanic]

My Ex had a masters degree in early childhood development and was working on her PHD. the oddest thing was that she had no clue on how to parent our children as everything was always focused on her needs and desires and never on the children (to the point that the kids didn't make it to school a lot of days because she wanted to stay at home and do nothing, she used to call this a "slugfest". Now that I have custody my son was the proud receiver of a perfect attendance award... a first of hopefully many.

That being said, she was still their mom and I do wish she would have found a way to control the demons that owned her and not taken her own life.

[slimmiller]

My exBPD graduated with a Bachelors in psychology last summer and is currently doing an internship and is going to be a licensed counselor   How she studies this stuff and completely overlooks the thought that she herself has this disorder (she is undiagnosed, although I tried to 'help' her by telling her, waste of time) is beyond me and normal commen sense and logic

She is smart and yet her brain short circuits so bad at times. I can not imagine her trying to help others with their problems while she herself finds herself a new 'soulmate' about every 5-6 months which includes international trips to sleep with them (after she meets them on the internet)

I actually feel sorry for her 'future' patients. I can only hope she flunks out and saves them before she even makes it that far

This is a woman that gets fired from janitorial jobs due to her personality.

[GuiltHaunted]

Allmessedup, that was exactly the message of said mail I got from her too. I think it was a short while after my father died, and I didn't get a job that I wanted. In my depressed state (state, not depression), I said something along the lines of "I'll probably end up dying alone like my father", that lead to this line of mails (she would always send minimum 2 or 3 each 10 minutes apart). And it was not about me, but her and how it made her feel that I would say something like that and how it influenced her view on our relationship.

Back then, I actually viewed it as one of the most intelligent mails I got from her. But now I can see how it was only for selfish reasons, and not at all to support me. Actually, instead making me feel bad for what I had said instead - FOG... .

[Allmessedup]

Oh yes.  It was always about how what I said made her feel... . And therefore made her question the relationship.   And I often woul get two or three emais in a row.  Almost like she couldn't compose her thoughts into just one. 

Our final blow up was of me telling her that it was not possible for her to meet all of my needs and that was ok. I needed to learn to meet my own needs.

That spiraled into me not "seeing" her, to me not loving who she is, to how I am toxic to her blah blah blah.

Here I was trying to take responsibility and become healthier and she freaked.  Go figure.

6 weeks on Saturday and counting!

[Pearl55]

Guilthaunted

I think you are confused what is BPD. Not all borderlines ACT the same BUT their brains work only in a certain way. Intelligence is NOT affected by the disorder most borderlines are extremely bright. Yes they are copycats no matter they belong to low functioning, high functioning, transparent, extrovert,... . types. Bpd is not a behavioural issue, they are mentally disturbed, severly disturbed.

[GuiltHaunted]

Hi Pearl,

I appreciate you post and would like to be educated further. I am a layman for sure and no expert. I think we do agree that we see common behaviors that are more present at borderline disordered individuals?

My ex was far from stupid. If you read that from my posts, it might be because I have focused on her irrational and illogical decisions or didn't express myself clearly enough. Had she been stupid, I wouldn't have spent almost 4 years with her. Did you read my story? (Link in my signature). I would appreciate your feedback and hope to learn where ever I can - even if I learn that I am wrong and she is not BPDed.

[Pearl55]

Guilthaunted

Bpd is very confusing to understand if you have got time to read my previous posts I repeated myself quit often to explain how they view us. Unfortunately they are not whole individuals, they are real psychos and losers. While we are in relationship with them we are losers too.