Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 04:25:01 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
These people are so predictable
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: These people are so predictable (Read 473 times)
almosthadme
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 47
These people are so predictable
«
on:
February 20, 2014, 08:32:48 PM »
So after a 40 day NC other than a very short text conversation a couple weeks ago I got the text.It was late last night and it just said I miss you.I let it go but replied this morning(I had to my situation is different).She explained she was drinking and was very sweet but got all dejected.We texted quite a bit and it just went downhill fast.I knew it would and I felt like I knew exactly what was going to happen and it all did.Somehow it was all my fault and she made some accusations that were a reach at best.Anyway back on bad terms and it did not really phase me but it was interesting how these people follow the same patterns.Well until next time.
Logged
ogopogodude
^
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 513
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #1 on:
February 20, 2014, 08:43:05 PM »
I love how we nons refer to BPD's as "those people" and such. I think we do because we realize that they are not human at all but rather they take on our human form as they are actually aliens from Third Galaxy Chaotic from Sector Thermite, specifically the planet Lunatic123.
He he he.
(Sorry, … I couldn't resist)
Logged
almosthadme
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 47
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #2 on:
February 20, 2014, 08:49:00 PM »
No need to be sorry,it's actually pretty accurate!It's interesting knowing they have BPD but they have no idea you know.It's actually pathetic and I have no sympathy for them.
Logged
ogopogodude
^
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 513
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #3 on:
February 20, 2014, 08:52:28 PM »
It's funny…. I sometimes fall back into feeling sympathy then I shake my head and realize that is what they want from us,. …...
oh oh, … there I go calling them "they", … oh oh, ... i called them them…
hehehe
(note to self: no drinking a beer and going on forums)
Logged
winston72
Retired Staff
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 688
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #4 on:
February 20, 2014, 09:39:25 PM »
"They" are no more monolithic a group as "us" are. There are certainly some consistent behavioral traits from both parties in these relationships... . that is wildly obvious to all of us who read the posts on this site. I found it really helpful to zoom in on the traits of my ex as it helped me to face the reality of her behavior and deflate my fantasy bubble around her. But, as time moved on and I sought more clarity and honesty as to what happened, I needed to move away from the categorizations and see her behavior in all of its individual "glory".
Logged
https://bpdfamily.com/images/rm.png
myself
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3151
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #5 on:
February 20, 2014, 10:20:27 PM »
I've sent the
I miss you
texts.
I have my predictable patterns.
I saw what she was capable of.
I stayed. I dared myself to see it to the end.
I thought my love, my time, my efforts would be enough.
Trying for control just like she was. Like we all do.
Letting go. That's been the most freeing.
That's the best footing to have.
I didn't know where the end was going to be.
It's a new beginning. It's when we change.
Looking back, it's obvious.
Looking ahead, it's up to me.
Logged
winston72
Retired Staff
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 688
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #6 on:
February 20, 2014, 10:33:49 PM »
Myself, you can hang your post on me as an accurate categorization! That was brilliant, and is spot on for me.
Logged
https://bpdfamily.com/images/rm.png
Tausk
Formerly "Schroeder's Piano"
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 843
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #7 on:
February 21, 2014, 12:20:17 AM »
Quote from: myself on February 20, 2014, 10:20:27 PM
I've sent the
I miss you
texts.
I have my predictable patterns.
I saw what she was capable of.
I stayed. I dared myself to see it to the end.
I thought my love, my time, my efforts would be enough.
Trying for control just like she was. Like we all do.
Letting go. That's been the most freeing.
That's the best footing to have.
I didn't know where the end was going to be.
It's a new beginning. It's when we change.
Looking back, it's obvious.
Looking ahead, it's up to me.
Thanks.
Logged
almosthadme
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 47
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #8 on:
February 21, 2014, 12:21:33 AM »
And in a strange twist of events she wants me to come over Sunday
Logged
Tausk
Formerly "Schroeder's Piano"
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 843
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #9 on:
February 21, 2014, 12:31:51 AM »
Quote from: almosthadme on February 20, 2014, 08:49:00 PM
No need to be sorry,it's actually pretty accurate!It's interesting knowing they have BPD but they have no idea you know.It's actually pathetic and I have no sympathy for them.
Sympathy/Pity for what is perhaps the most pathetic of conditions has been a cornerstone of my recovery.
Next time you see a somewhat functional bag lady, give her five dollars. Watch her eyes light up in joy, as she mirrors your good, and see the abandoned child in her.
Then tell her she smells bad, and watch her in an moment flash to the angry child, with eyes of hatred that could tear apart concrete.
Or instead bump into the bag lady, and watch her as she turns into the punitive parent as she looks to punish you because you deserve it.
Or just barely note her existence as she stays in the Detached Protector and can barely register anything.
All of these were my ex. And just because my ex was better at hiding and surviving in the world, doesn't mean that she's much different in emotional and relational capacities. So, when my anger and spite over the blow to my ego subsides a bit, I can feel pity for the bag lady, and that helps me to let go of my personal affront due to "the predictability of them people."
Just like the predictability of US people. Our patterns are just as predictable as them's.
Logged
ogopogodude
^
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 513
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #10 on:
February 21, 2014, 01:45:06 AM »
Quote from: Tausk on February 21, 2014, 12:31:51 AM
Quote from: almosthadme on February 20, 2014, 08:49:00 PM
Our patterns are just as predictable as them's.
Yes, ... . we are pretty predictable... .
Logged
growing_wings
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 529
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #11 on:
February 21, 2014, 03:15:10 AM »
Quote from: Tausk on February 21, 2014, 12:31:51 AM
Quote from: almosthadme on February 20, 2014, 08:49:00 PM
No need to be sorry,it's actually pretty accurate!It's interesting knowing they have BPD but they have no idea you know.It's actually pathetic and I have no sympathy for them.
Just like the predictability of US people. Our patterns are just as predictable as them's.
yes, better to concentrate on breaking the patterns of my own predictability than concentrate on the predictability of pwBPD. Breaking my own patterns is the only action i can control, and that will be the only thing that will enable change in my life... .
Logged
Skip
Site Director
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7020
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #12 on:
February 21, 2014, 09:17:59 AM »
Quote from: almosthadme on February 20, 2014, 08:32:48 PM
We texted quite a bit and it just went downhill fast.
What were the comments that started it downhill?
Logged
almosthadme
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 47
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #13 on:
February 21, 2014, 10:57:48 AM »
Quote from: Skip on February 21, 2014, 09:17:59 AM
Quote from: almosthadme on February 20, 2014, 08:32:48 PM
We texted quite a bit and it just went downhill fast.
What were the comments that started it downhill?
The first time was I had moved on and did not care about her.
The second time was over some food we had once.
The third time was who im friends with on facebook and instagram.
It really just followed typical BPD patterns but im onto it because of this website.I never got angry with her just made some wise cracks that she of course took major offense too.
I will admit I am not even close to perfect maybe even have some childhood trauma myself.I am just so interested in these people and the way they go about business.
Logged
Skip
Site Director
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7020
Re: These people are so predictable
«
Reply #14 on:
February 21, 2014, 11:45:39 AM »
I was meaning "what comments in the text exchange this week started it down hill"?
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
These people are so predictable
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...