A bad day after months of good ones

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I haven't been on here for a while which I guess is a good thing. The short version of my story is that I haven't heard from my uBPDexboyfriend since I told him I was pregnant.

My son is now 7 months and whilst it's definitely hard work raising him alone I feel like I'm doing a good job.

I guess my problem is the hurt that still remains. Today I looked on his social media (not something that I do often) and saw that he has had a girlfriend for the past six months. He moved overseas and from the looks of it isn't in a rush to move back. And honestly, that works out for me- I love the fact that I get to have my son all the time. But it hurts that he can just move on with his life like that. I feel like there's quite a way to go before I am ready to date, let alone being intimate with someone and he can so easily move on. I don't think my ex will ever change- I don't fear that he will turn into some amazing partner for someone else, it just hurts that I am long forgotten and he could walk away from his son so easily.

Anyway, it has been cathartic to write this and thank you if you read this

       

[understated]

I haven't been on here for a while which I guess is a good thing. The short version of my story is that I haven't heard from my uBPDexboyfriend since I told him I was pregnant.

My son is now 7 months and whilst it's definitely hard work raising him alone I feel like I'm doing a good job.

I guess my problem is the hurt that still remains. Today I looked on his social media (not something that I do often) and saw that he has had a girlfriend for the past six months. He moved overseas and from the looks of it isn't in a rush to move back. And honestly, that works out for me- I love the fact that I get to have my son all the time. But it hurts that he can just move on with his life like that. I feel like there's quite a way to go before I am ready to date, let alone being intimate with someone and he can so easily move on. I don't think my ex will ever change- I don't fear that he will turn into some amazing partner for someone else, it just hurts that I am long forgotten and he could walk away from his son so easily.

Anyway, it has been cathartic to write this and thank you if you read this

       

[fromheeltoheal]

Good for you; raising a kid by yourself is very difficult, although your son may be the biggest gift of that relationship.

I say you aren't long forgotten.  A man bailing on a woman he got pregnant is the wrong thing to do, he knows it, and add that to the shame a borderline usually feels and it's probably a big negative memory for him.  So he uses all the tricks, repression, projection, blame, to stuff all that down or away, and in those quiet times when he's alone it comes bubbling up and haunts him; think fetal position sweating under the covers.

Keep raising that kid well and the real man you deserve will show up.  Take care of you!

[DiamondSW]

goodness Understated,

When a healthy, stable and decent/hard working man comes along, he will be very lucky and glad to have found you!

Impressive woman, very 

(ignore the plank for now... . )

[understated]

Thank you fromheeltoheal and diamondsw for your kind words :-).

My son is definitely the best thing from that relationship.

I hope my ex does think about his actions sometimes but I suppose that's not helpful thinking.

Thanks again.